Most people we get to know in our business and personal lives aren’t meant to travel
the whole road with us. We forget that sometimes, especially when there’s been a good
connection, yet endings and new beginnings are the natural flow of life.
Every year I ask myself: What does my business and personal life look like? Where am
I stuck? What worked and what didn’t and who do I want in my life and who doesn’t
fit anymore? For me, I realized I wasn’t getting the support and results I needed and
expected from my assistant and the marketing consultants I’d worked with for the past
two years.
Admittedly, sadness comes along with the process of actually pruning some people
from our lives. In business, a big one is losing trust in a team member you can no
longer rely on to do what they say they’re going to do. As the CEO of a busy business
consulting firm, I want to feel confident that my team, all of them smart, likeable people,
is following through on projects without my having to remind them.
How about the friend who competes with you and is jealous of your successes? I’ve
known women like that and as soon as my photo image licensing company took off, and
I sold it to Bill Gates in 2006 for millions, I felt a chilly resentment from a couple of
them. I stayed in these friendships way too long because of old ties, but it became clear
that they were no longer on my side and I finally moved on, an emotional but liberating
decision.
If you have a nagging suspicion that something is not right or needs to be changed, your
instincts are probably correct. Maybe it’s time to make a few tweaks here and there, and
challenge the world to keep up with you!
Here are a few ideas and techniques to help you close the doors on what is not working so
you can let in things you want that are actually good for you.
Why we overstay some situations
The certainty we have seems to give us more comfort than putting ourselves out there and
facing the uncertainty of what is still to come.
We fall into the trap of scarcity. What if there is not enough for me out there? What if
there is not enough business to sustain us all? What if there isn’t a better assistant, a
better marketing consultant, and every naysayer who predicted you wouldn’t be able
to succeed, is right? Our thoughts have such a powerful impact on our lives and it’s
essential that we stress the positive. Here’s why.
Is your fear that there isn’t enough of anything—prosperity, money, love—any different
than you believing it to be the other way around? Why wouldn’t there be enough to go
around? Why wouldn’t there be someone or something even better?
Dreams and wishes
Be honest with yourself. When your mind wanders, what do you dream about? Is it
about the life you currently have or do you see yourself in a second, much better life?
I certainly daydreamed about having a different life and this time, I did something about
it. I hired new assistant, new consultants, and even started therapy to get the support I
needed to create healthier business and personal relationships.
There’s no rule on how much you should get or have, how much you will be loved. Your
contribution matters—it is you who determines what is or isn’t enough for you. You are
worthy of greatness. And you are the one who defines what that is. Do we have a deal?
Beate Chelette is a respected career coach, consummate entrepreneur and founder of The
Women’s Code, a unique guide to personal and career success that offers a new code of
conduct for today’s business, private and digital world. Determined to build a community
of women helping each other, after selling one of her companies, BeateWorks, to Bill
Gates in 2006 for millions of dollars, Beate created The Women’s Code to share with
women everywhere her strategies for success and leadership.