If you find yourself alone, bored and empty inside during the holidays, then ask God to help you to find your people, your place, your focus and activities. If you are alone, that means that the people surrounding you where you are are not the right friends for you and you have chosen to not find friends amongst them. If you are bored, then you are focused on activities that are somewhat boring and unfulfilling to you, and so you need to think about what you’d like to be doing and then find a way to be able to do those things. If you are with the wrong people in the wrong place doing things that don’t fulfill you, ask yourself why….how did you get there, what choices did you make that landed you there, what draws you to these people and these places and activities even when they don’t fulfill you?
In these types of situations, there is usually a love, and a repel. You love those people for many reasons, yet they repel you at the same time. Think about what you like and don’t like about them. Does what you don’t like about them cause you to not be able to connect with them beyond just superficial acquaintance levels and does it cause you to want to not get too close to them? Then why are they in your world, in your workplace, in your church, in your surroundings? Why did you choose to be with them yet not get too close to them? Do you want to inspire them, change them, heal them? Do you believe it is possible to do this? Do you see you cannot help them, that they cannot believe what you would tell them, that they are not ready for such a humungous change? Do you stay to keep an eye on them and thus be able to pray for them when they are falling or ill?
In staying there, how is this affecting you and your life? Are the types of people you want to be with in the city you live in, in your workplace, at your church? If not, do you know where they might be, and are you willing to move there and leave those you love but cannot help or connect with on deep levels?
Examine what you believe in. Part of you believes in what they believe in, but part of you disagrees and sees and knows and does things that they would not understand at all. You hide some of your beliefs and interests from them. You feel you cannot quite be yourself around them, or share your true feelings and thoughts.
The truth is that you have grown way beyond their levels of awareness, yet you find it very difficult to leave them. You know they will go through much pain and sorrow because of their illusions, yet you cannot wake them up. You know that to stay with them will continue your loneliness and alienation, boredom and sorrow. You see you have to just let them go through it and cannot stop what’s coming in the future upon them. You cannot heal their illnesses. You cannot free them from the Devilish influences. You cannot wake them up, they are still too asleep. Their nightmarish experiences continue and will accelerate. Leave them to their growth through it.
You came into this life and this world at this time in order to help them through it. Maybe you decided you owed them paybacks for how you had hurt them in past lives. Your Christian background told you that you must be there for them and help them through their sufferings with your love, kindness, generosity and wisdom. You were taught it is wise to help the poor and the sick and the suffering and to share your wisdom with them. But when you chose to come here to help, you did not foresee that it would get to this point, where almost the whole world is so asleep and being influenced and brainwashed by those who wish to control, manipulate and pull down the humans here. You did not foresee that the methods you used to help them in past lives would not work this time around. You did not foresee that even Christianity could not free them from this nightmare this time around because Christianity has its limits, limits that its followers put on it; they are not the limits of the Christ, but limits of people’s fears and unwillingness to see everything clearly.
Christianity is for the most part true and very healing; yet it is still only a level of awareness, and there are levels of awareness beyond those levels. We are not saying to toss out Christianity. Keep Christianity, but also add to it the awarenesses and truths that can only be discovered through insights via God and Jesus and via your own willingness to be open-minded. You are afraid that if you go further beyond Christianity that you will then end up rejecting Christianity, but this does not have to be the case; just be very careful with what you accept as true. Exanine anything you hear or read and ask yourself, is this opposite to what Christianity taught me, and if it is, then don’t accept it. But there are other things you will hear and read that are not asking you to reject Christian principles and truths, but that just add something to it that will assist you on your life path, truths that cannot hurt you and that can only help you.
Know who you can help and who you cannot help. At this time in earth’s history there are many who cannot and will not wake up. You cannot help them. There are a few that you can help, and so ask God to guide you to those whom you can help. Maybe you cannot get them to see everything, but at least you can get them to see something that will help them.
Your love for all people and your desire to see them all healed and in total truth can cause you to try to help those who are not able to hear or see the truth at this time. Also, your love and attachment to certain souls you have known in past lives pulls you into their world and lives and you want to wake them up….but can you? You want to be there for them, soothe them, comfort them, love them, even if you can’t wake them up…..but in doing this, if they aren’t waking up, then their problems and sorrows just continue and you end up spending most of your time with them and their problems instead of being with those whom you connect with, who are on your level of awareness. You entered into the world of the suffering, and so you yourself suffer to some extent because of that choice. You have ended up eating their food, watching their TV shows, going to their churches, being attacked by their enemies, being pulled down by your empathy and their sorrows. Your life has become boring, unfulfilling, and you are losing the powers and sight you once had. You are starting to believe in some of their illusions. Your finances and health are suffering. You feel empty and unfulfilled. You know what you want in your life, but you can only get it by leaving old friends behind and allowing them to go through their growth and their suffering. Allow them their illusions. They want to hold onto their illusions.
They only believe in what they can see and in what they have been taught. They do not see or believe in shamanic, intuitive, magical realities. They fear it. They will not meditate or listen to new age uplifting music or go to shamans for healing. They will not try to use intuition to help them make decisions. Their discernment is off because they have lost and refused the ability to “see” intuitively. They have forgotten how to look into someone’s eyes and see if the eyes show coldness and cruelty or if they show love and sincerity.
Like me, maybe in past lives they got heavily involved with the supernatural intuitive realms and fell into the pitfalls of the untruths being perpetrated within those realms. Not all metaphysics or new age beliefs are the truth. There is much falsehood there. But on the other hand, there is also much truth. One must grow to have the discernment and intuition to know what is truth and what is false. But perhaps these old friends of yours from past lives were heavily burned more than once by going into the supernatural realms and so they decided to leave all of that and fully reject it in the next life, in this life. I did that, too, but now I am seeing that in the new age realm I went too far to the left and into some false beliefs, and then I went too far to the right into mainstream Christianity and that pulled me out of a lot of the power I had gained in the other directions. Now I am balancing out in the middle, where truth usually lies. Weed out the lies. Find the real truth. Life experience will show you, God will show you, what is true and what isn’t. It is a humbling experience.
So, now that you are getting back into your power again and seeing more of what’s true and what’s false, you are outgrowing the new friends or acquaintances and places you traveled into now, and so now it is time to move on.
You were with them for a while. You gave them all the love you had. You didn’t judge them. You were there for them. But you never felt quite right there. You had lost some of the inner peace and spiritual powers you had gained. Their sorrow pulled you down. You slipped into their ways and their illusions. You have to let them go. There is a door open before you, perhaps several new doors and choices. Look at them. Be open to them. Choose. Walk through the door. Use your intuition and follow your gut feelings…that’s God’s guidance. Talk to Jesus. You aren’t leaving Him and He isn’t leaving you. His truth remains inside of you, his love follows you and keeps you in his embrace forevermore. He will lead you where you need to go. He will open your eyes further.
There are those you are meant to help. There are those you are meant to enjoy and be with. Places you are meant to go to and thrive and find joy and peace within.
Where Are You Going, What Will You Be Doing?
Living your natural, joyful, spiritual lifestyle, being total love and peace, is only possible when you are choosing to be with your own people on your own level, and when you are choosing to leave the matrix and its systems and lifestyles and people and its ways.
This is not selfishness, as God will show you how you are to help the world. Your just living a natural, spiritual lifestyle and knowing much truth helps the world as it jostles around the web, the matrix that the dark forces have created, it gives people new insights, even if you never meet or talk to any of those people. It’s a subconscious intuitive and spiritual reaction to you and others who have left the matrix behind.
Live near nature. Eat pure, fresh, organic foods. Reject eating meat. Be creative. Speak what you have learned to those ready to hear it. Take only classes that speak the truth. Work for those who “see” and love unconditionally. Work with and for those who have a higher vision for humanity and know how to get us there. Find your soul mate. Find your everlasting true friends. Create a Heaven on Earth for yourself and for others. Pray for others, pray for the world to awaken. You have dreamed the dream awake. As others still sleep, don’t jump into the water to try to save them from drowning, for you will dorwn with them. Don’t jump onto those sinking ships. Even though you love them. Now I am not saying that if you come across someone who is crying, drowning or ill, that you should not do something for them. Help them. But to get very involved in their life is something else and it will pull down your own life and you will nto be able to accomplish your true mission, which is to enlighten those who are ready and willing to listen to what you have to teach them.
You could spend the rest of your life trying to heal lost souls who cannot and will not wake up no matter what you say or do. You could spend the rest of your life feeding the poor, or trying to help people get jobs within the matrix and telling them they need education in the matrix. But you don’t really believe in all of that. Yes, someone needs to feed the poor, someone needs to help them get jobs, but is it you whom God wants to do this work? If you are way beyond their matrix, way beyond the system, if you see how they are all being manipulated, lied to and controlled, and that they won’t wake up, then you are not meant to play the matrix game with them. You are meant to teach people who are ready to hear what you now know. There are many others on lower levels of awareness whose job it now is to feed the poor, help people find work and education within the matrix. They cannot see beyond those levels yet they can help those on the lower levels of awareness with what they have so far learned about how to get back on one’s feet. You are no longer there with them. You are no longer in belief with their whole system and lifestyle and illusions.
These are the lessons I am now finally learning. You’ll know when you’ve completely learned these types of lessons when you are making a firm decision to leave it all behind and move on into your true destiny and higher lifestyle and higher work. Until that point, you will find yourself seesawing between the truth and the illusion, between codependent tendencies and wanting to leave them all behind and live a better lifestyle in line with your true beliefs. You will seesaw between wanting to be a mainstream Christian and wanting to go into Unity or metaphysical religions, between what you “see” is truth and what religions and books and gurus try to feed to you as truth. Question everything. Question every so-called intuition, as they aren’t all real.
Christmas 2012…
This Christmas coincides with the end of the Mayan Calendar on December 21, 2012. People think that because nothing they can see happened on that date that nothing really happened and that this was all either a hoax or a wrong assumption. But that is not the case. A shift occurred on the earth because one soul attained complete enlightenment and freedom and totally left the matrix.
This Christmas season, as I stay alone in my room, feeling empty and alone, I try to fill it up with Christmas movies, music, foods, church, shopping, chai tea, incense, Christmas music, or whatever; but nothing fills the emptiness I feel. I’m living in a city that I don’t connect with philosophically, where everyone here is still in the matrix.
I find some shamanic music CDs at the local library and I listen to them, and the spiritual Christ power starts to fill me up and heal my body. I start to have insights and awarenesses. I remember when I used to feel this way at times when I used to live in Sedona, and when I went to the metaphysical Christian churches, or when I used to listen to music like this and mediate until I accessed those higher energies. But I have fallen. I wanted to go back to traditional people and old-fashioned Christianity, as I became so disillusioned with “new age.” I realize I have fallen out of my power. I realize that my Christian acquaintances cannot possibly experience this love and peace and power, for they fear the metaphysical and keep tight parameters around their matrix instigated ways. They live in their intellect. They fear the metaphysical and see it as darkness. They cannot feel and know what I feel and know.
I turn on the TV to find a Christmas movie to give me a feeling of fun. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But no matter how entertaining the Christmas movie is, I see so many illusions in it that it’s hard to enjoy it when I see how people are being deceived. Believe in God, not in Santa Claus. Believe in alternative healthy lifestyles and healthy organic foods, not in matrix work and education and lies told by dark forces. Focus on the true meaning of Christmas. People are celebrating Christmas who don’t even believe in Jesus or God or Christianity because they want the presents, the trees, the parties, the foods of Christmas. This is not right. I watch Christmas movies with women in low-cut dresses, with abhorrent sexual inuendos, with animals such as reindeer being made to look foolish, with people eating turkey who are unaware of how the turkeys were tortured and killed and unable to live any kind of a life. I watch kids receiving war toys as Christmas presents. I look at the energy and eyes of the actors and see empty coldness often, with only an occasional one with eyes of love and Christ consciousness. I know that many of the actresses got into the movie business through the casting couch, and that awareness alone makes me think that they are playing at Christmas but not really experiencing Christmas because anytime you let your body be used by someone who has no love and only wants your sex you are falling and falling hard down a dark cold path.
And all around me at work and at church, people giving away all kinds of unhealthy goodies, candy, cake, pie, galore. They know I need to lose weight, but they don’t care, they just want to shower me with goodies so I’ll be happy at Christmas. Would Jesus do this? They get me to focusing on the foods of Christmas, rather than on the Christ of Christmas. I don’t want to do that, but I have nothing that connects to who I am anymore here in this city I don’t believe in anymore, and the sweets and good foods are all I can access, but even then, just barely, as being back in the matrix has drained my finances considerably. If you don’t fully believe in their matrix, rejecting their ways tends to drain your finances as long as you are still in their matrix. You can either go deeper into their illusions and matrix to make more money (and be even more miserable(, or you can leave their matrix and live in an alternative community and lifestyle where your abundance just flows because you are being true to yourself and to God’s purpose and desires for your life. But I’m still here in their matrix, trying to help them, wishing I belonged, but knowing it is no longer for me. I have to leave it all behind and just let them all fall. I cannot wake them up. I’m offered some cookies and I eat them, hoping for a momentary pleasure of sugar fix to numb the pain I feel about the state of the world and the state of my life right now. But I know so much now that even the cookies don’t help that much anymore and I hate myself for eating them because they aren’t healthy and they make me grow fatter after I lost an entire dress size.
Alternative Communities & Heavens on Earth…
I believe it is time for us to work on creating a healthy lifestyle and Heaven on Earth communities. It is not the time to be jumping onto sinking ships to try to save those you love and want to help, as you will sink with that sinking ship. They cannot be saved. Even the Christians are too asleep and will drown, because they have been fed certain interpretations of the Bible that limit them, and because they have been enculturized to the matrix lifestyles and viewpoints, and because dark forces are influencing their thoughts and behaviors unbeknownst to them.
Those in the truth aligned with the Christ will be pulled up and out of the tribulations on the earth. But those Christians who believe in eating meat, justify torturing of animals, who have no real personal relationship with Jesus, who cannot give, who cannot receive, they cannot go where we are going and live in a Heaven on Earth.
December 21, 2012, was an important date. It was the date when the first person on earth ascended to a certain light level of ascension that is beyond this world and its ways. That person lit up another, and that one lit up another, and this lighting will continue on until all 144,000 are at that light level, and then the rest of the world is either lifted to that level or dies off to continue their growth on the other side and into new lifetimes on other alternate planets.
You first leave the matrix inside of yourself. Then you make certain decisions. Then you take certain actions. Those actions lead you into places and people and activities that are beyond the matrix and are creating Heavens on Earth in healthy lifestyles and ascended Christed ways. December 21, 2012, was the beginning of a new age being created by lightworkers on the planet. It only takes one totally lighted individual to change the world. Now the hundredth monkey path is occurring; it will not be completed until every lightworker of the 144,000 is lit up fully. Then the world goes through a major shift and the wealth is transferred from the dark forces to the light forces and there are little Heavens on Earth all over the earth and the dark forces and their puppets and those too asleep die off .
Just because the world looks so dark right now, do not give up on the vision of a healed and lighted world. Often they have to go down before they can go up into higher realms of awareness. We went through it and are still going through it until such a time as our bodies, minds and souls are total light, love and peace. Someday we will complete our ascension and live as Christs in a totally healthy, healed world. That’s my vision and my story and I’m sticking to it, no matter what. And no matter how much pain I have to go through to get there, I’m willing, I’m sticking to the goal and the vision and God and Jesus help me along the way. I am open to being wrong, I am forgiving of my mistakes. I am persistent in my growth. I see how much I have grown yet I see how much farther I need to grow, and it is all just okay and fine with me.
Zarla Leah is a writer, artist, social worker and minister. She writes about ascension and enlightenment levels, world healing and alternative lifestyles. She can be reached for questions and comments at: zarlaleah@yahoo.com.