Changing your word patterns is a lot easier than changing your thought habits.
Getting good at anything requires practice, and changing speaking habits is no different.
First, we have to make ourselves aware of wrong speech. If you've been a Christian for quite awhile, the Lord probably already has cleaned all profanity and obscenities from your lips. If not, you need to make that a priority. From the Bible, "Out of the same mouth proceeeds blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be. Does a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?" (James 3:10-11)
The next step then should be to try to refrain from responding either to a person or to a given situation quickly, without giving the issue some thought.
I'll grant you that this is not easy. In fact, the Bible says, "But the tongue no man can tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison"! (James 3:8) And again, "If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle (control) the whole body." (James 3:2)
In my personal life, managing people has taught me to be slow to speak, and many times an unpleasant situation will resolve itself on its own. I guess realizing this is one way the Lord is giving me some of the wisdom I've asked Him for.
Another thing I've learned is that a "soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) Teddy Roosevelt was right: "Speak softly, but carry a big stick." My interpretation of that is to try to assuage the situation, but be prepared to stand your ground, if need be.
You know, there are in the Bible all the lessons we need to live happy, successful lives, if only we would read and heed it. I just saw another good one: "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of foolish does not." (Proverbs 15:7)
Nothing happens in this life without words, spoken, written, or both. Without words, we cannot complete a business transaction, a purchase, build a building, read a book, watch the boob tube, or just listen to music, even if it's only instrumental, because on one level or another, it had to be put together with words.
A person skilled in the use of words has a huge advantage in life, and it is sad to realize that the educational system in these United States is abysmally lacking in that regard.
Even sadder is the fact that people in general have no clue as to the power of words, both spoken and written. They simply do not realize that "death and life are in the power of the tongue." (Proverbs 18:21)
The eyes may be the windows of the soul, but the tongue is connected directly to the heart of men, out of which flow the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23) And also " . . . out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34)
Yes, "love may make the world go 'round," but words express it.
The writer spent her early years in the legal arena and the last 23 years in property management. She has been an avid Bible student since 1987 and became an online publisher in 2001. She still publishes her bi-weekly ezine, 'elf Expressions Ezine, a collection of positive tips, hints, and advice offered with humor, inspiration, and other goodies for anyone who is inclined to read. The emphasis these days is on the finer points of Christianity. Guidance, mentoring, inspiration, English lessons, editing, and proofreading services for entrepreneurs and online marketers are also offered. Subscribe if you like at http://www.elfexpressionsezine.com.