A typical relationship has very important milestones: the first meeting, first date, first kiss and all the other firsts. Although some couple can be quite contented with taking things slow, there are some who believe that moving in together is the next step in taking the relationship to a more serious level. Although it is definitely one of the most major milestones in a couple’s life, the idea of moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend is different for every person. of course, it has a lot of fringe benefits, like cutting your rent in half, waking up next to the person you adore, and knowing one’s partner more intimately by seeing him/her at their very worst (think morning breath and using the bathroom with the door wide open).
Some couples do it to “test the waters” – a sort of trial that would give them a feel if they are with the right person and can stand each other enough to eventually consider marriage. Moving in together may help strengthen a couple’s commitment to each other, but it’s a serious decision that has its pros and cons. If half of your closet contains your partner’s wardrobe and you haven’t slept in your bed for quite some time now, then maybe it’s time to move in with him/her. But before you sublet your pad, here are a few points to consider: Ask yourself this: why move in with your partner? Having concrete reasons in taking this step can be helpful in evaluating the kind of relationship that you and your partner have, and how you want it to go along.
Is it because you can’t stand being away from each other? Or are you simply after the cheaper rent and the convenience of waking up to a hot breakfast in bed? These are useful eye-openers, because a lot of couples tend to rush things instead of weighing the advantages and disadvantages of this kind of living arrangement. Take note that moving in together entails many of the same obligations in marriage. It will be totally irresponsible for two people to decide to live together hastily, as if it’s just something like a sleepover on a weekend. It’s very important to be able to discuss things with your partner first—establish what your expectations are.
Most people may take it as something that would lead to marriage in the long run, while for others it’s just that—living together and nothing else. Know what you hope to accomplish with the move, and be very sure that it’s what you both want. Little things such as household chores also deserve a thorough discussion, as this is a common source of conflict even for a married couple. Money matters, like how you split the bills should also be clearly established, as well as how you split properties in case you separate or one of you passes away. Being upfront with these issues can surely keep petty arguments at bay and prepare a couple for serious situations.
And, since you’re living together and it’s not just a case of playing “house”, it would be prudent to discuss marriage. After all, things can very well head in that direction when the right time comes and both of you are ready.
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.