Moments of Transcendent Awareness

The sun streamed through the late southern summer afternoon in golden rays. And, there I stood in front of my grandmother’s mirror. It seemed huge and somehow magical to me. This was not the first time I stood in front of that mirror. My grandmother often placed me in front of that mirror and told me that it was magic. I just had to look long enough to spot the magic.
Whenever I was upset about something or I did something wrong, she would stand me in front of that mirror and say, “You just stand there and look at yourself until you see God looking back. Then come talk to me.”
My grandmother was deeply religious or ridiculously nuts. I’ll get into that another time.
On this particular day, the light was achingly beautiful. Deep gold reflected off the dust particles between the mirror and me. I remember getting distracted by them, how they looked like rivers of golden light flowing all around me. Then I turned my attention again to the mirror. Within moments I was enchanted by rivers of the golden light. Then I turned my gaze back to the mirror, trying to see God looking back at me. This back and forth went on for some time.
I don’t know if it was gradual or sudden, but I remember feeling surprised that I could see God peeking back at me, or at least I thought it was God. I felt like I both disappeared and was completely present. I was aware of that golden light permeating everything. Everything seemed empty, even the golden light. The mirror, me, the room and even the giant purple hydrangea flowers outside the bedroom mirror all seemed to be made of the same stuff. I remember thinking, “this must be God.”
I felt an unimaginable peace, an infinite, yet empty love. I don’t really know how long I stood there in this incredible space of ONENESS ~ experiencing everything as being made of the same God-stuff. After some time, I remembered that I was supposed to go talk to my grandmother. By the time I opened the door to the bedroom and found my way to her, the experience had faded, leaving a deep impression nonetheless. I don’t remember what she said when I found her. I just remember the feeling and the fading of the feeling.
The impression left by this experience has lasted a lifetime and seeded in me the desire to enter that space again and again. Decades later, I’ve had a handful of similar brief transcendent experiences. Most recently when my mentor, Zivorad M. Slavinski, led me through a series of dharanas, concentration exercises, that culminated in Sunyata (Divine Void, Empty Consciousness). Unlike previous experiences, this one lasted days and left a very deep impression.
As my mother-in-law might say, “Well, pin a rose on your nose.” It’s not that I’m intending to brag with a kind of spiritual one-ups-man-ship here. I believe it’s of great value to remember and contemplate our experiences of transcendence. For these experiences leave an impression and reflecting on these experiences can bring them alive.
My earliest experience of Sunyata, of Samadhi, absorbed in a non-dual state of consciousness set me on a course that guides me still. At a young age, I got that Life is more than it seems and I knew that I liked peeking behind the curtain and wanted to live from that transcendent state – all the time.
So, what prevents us from having this experience all the time?
I think its ego. An ego comprised of layers and layers of deeply imbedded impressions that form veils around our awareness and leaves us feeling separate, separate from our truest Self, separate from each other and separate from God.
What do you think?
Have you had an experience like this? How did it affect you?