As far as technology is concerned we live in an awesome age where everything is blindingly fast. If Sam Houston would have had our technology back then, help would have arrived in time for the Alamo. A few quick emails to patriots all across Texas, and Santa Anna would have never had a chance. We have the ability to communicate instantaneously with millions of people all over the world at the same time. Countless billions has been invested on these modicums for our personal and along with the personal mission of these companies to improve our performance by utilizing these tools for our personal work.
But in reality there is a big difference between “making contact” and really communicating.
Isn’t there? The word “communicating” carries with it an idea of actually making sense and being understood.
A brief exchange of words does not necessarily mean communicating. Here’s what I mean.
Most people who had automobile accidents were asked to summarize exactly what happened on their insurance form. A brief insight on what those forms contain.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
• The pedestrian had no idea of which way to go, so I ran over him.
• The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front.
And here are some ads that failed to communicate well...
• A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
• Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
• We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires Dec. 31 or while supplies last.
• For sale at reduced prices-shirts for men with minor flaws.
Let's discuss some basic “how to's” of good communication.
Good communication begins when rapport is established. Rapport is a mutual feeling of being in communication. Have you heard the expression “we were on the same wave length?” That was rapport.
Here are some basic elements in the process of good communication.
1. The speaker is like a radio transmitter. She is sending out a message ... it may be a verbal or non-verbal message.
2. The listener is like a radio receiver. They are receiving the message.
3. The message is some sort of information. The goal of the communication is to deliver this message.
4. Then there are the distractions that can hinder communication. Distractions can cause misinterpretations. They can cause parts of the message to not come through. Sometimes these distractions are our own preconceived notions or filters that make us have a faulty interpretation. They act like static. We do not have a clear signal when there are distractions.
5. And finally, there needs to be an acknowledgment that the message was heard and a replication or feedback of the message to make sure it was received properly.
A notable Mr. Fred Rogers thought he was about to achieve his big break when a major network asked to meet with him and discuss the possibility of syndicating his local children's show. One of the network execs asked, "What kind of costume will you be wearing for the show?" Mr. Rogers told the man that he didn't need a funny costume to communicate with children.
The executives disagreed, insisting that anyone hosting a children's show must have a costume. So, the meeting ended, and the network decided to pass on the opportunity. Evidently, it was a huge mistake. PBS picked up the show and children's television has never been the same.
He knew that it was not the elaborate costume that would communicate with the audience. It was him! Here is another “ebyism.” People buy your music, not your words.” Although we need to pursue excellence we need to learn to speak as plainly and as eloquently as we can. We need to know that effective communication goes a lot deeper.
It is a given fact that 75% of the people who buy a big ticket item are buying it because they like or trust the salesperson. Simply put “I want you to communicate with them truthfully on a verbal level ... and to communicate with them sincerely on a non-verbal level.” They want to know what your heart has to say.
Always keep in mind when we speak from our hearts it will break through the “inert” lesion. It will augment our signal which will leave no room for misinterpretation. A step onwards progress through exceptional leadership training that these pioneers have undergone for their personal good. Now that is the very essence of effective communication!
Gary Eby, a member of the Jim Rohn Speaker Bureau, is gifted to teach deep truths in a clear and easily understandable style. His messages are power-packed and often filled with laughter and practical illustrations. He has shared the stage with great speakers such as Jim Rohn and Les Brown. Not only is Gary a sought after speaker, but he is also an author whose personal development book Lefthanded Soldiers has received worldwide attention. You may receive a free copy at http://cli.gs/garyeby