1. Provide loving but firm discipline for your children. Try to be consistent and don’t over-discipline a child or be overbearing. Endeavor to provide your children have good, positive companionship with suitable friends.
2. Give attention to diet and nutrition, in a balanced way. Low sugar, low carbohydrate, no soda, within reason. Light on the fruit juice. No sugared fruit juices. Junk food snacking only on special occasions. Media: Television, films, video games, internet.
3. The American Pediatrics Association recommends no television for children under 2 years old. It can affect their neurological development.
By cutting down on TV, movie and video game time, most children benefit both psychologically and academically. For many children, 44 hours a week is the norm. An hour or two a day, is more, even than most children ages 4 to 18 years old should be watching, playing or listening to.
Media includes video games, television, movies, and non-educational Internet use. For children under 2, the American Pediatrics Association recommends no television at all.
4. Keep video games and television out of the bedroom.
Violence on television can affect the psychological profile of children.
5. Keep the computer in a public place in the house and keep an eye on how much computer time is being spent and what sites. Talk to your children about it.
Disney movies have been described in terms of "horror movies for children, made with the "highest illustrative art". Disney Princess movies often have frightening scenes for children, as well as deeply emotional and bonding characters.
For some girls, overindulgence in Disney and similar fantasies can be a contributing factor in some mental health disorders, such as depression, or ADHD IA (Inattentive type) especially when it is combined with other powerful media influences.
Negative stereotyping in Disney films can also set up patterns of fearfulness, such as in the case of the mentally, and romantic fantasies can cause girls (and boys) to develop unrealistic expectations about marriage both before and after marriage.
Reading ability improves for children who spend less time watching television and movies. Less media time is directly proportional to higher reading ability. Studies have demonstrated that children who watch R-Rated movies have consistently have poorer grades than children who do not.
6. Provide wholesome recreation for your children during the week and weekends.
7. Art lesson for children can be of value. It helps children to focus and concentrate, develop self-esteem, and also, to develop a lifetime skill which can provide a balancing influence to that of television, movies and video games. The result can be better grades and even a higher IQ.
8. How-to books on art and art supplies for your children can encourage a child to pursue this hobby. Decorate your home with art from well-known artists and art of local or cultural interest.
9. Comic books or games that have occult or spiritistic themes or that have violence can be harmful to a child’s mental health. This can also be true of music. These can be are distracting for children at home or in school. They can also be addictive. Children may then have difficulties in concentrating on such subjects as math and science, reading and even writing when at school or at home.
10. Encourage a child’s interest in lighter, mellower, music rather than heavy alternative, goth, heavy metal, grunge, hard core or hard rock or music with spiritistic or occult influences. Keep tabs on how much time is spent on music.
Music and concerts can effect a child's mental health.
Some children spend all day on the ipod, watching and listening to music videos, watching Internet videos and concerts. For some, the long hours of stimulation is more than their minds can handle and can contribute to chemical changes in the mind that contribute to psychological imbalances. The mind can become overburdened or overwhelmed and this can weaken a child or teen, contributing to mental health difficulties. Balance and moderation is needed.
11. Get a pet or fishtank. (Raising animals teaches responsibility and the spirit of giving. It is a nice hobby with life-lessons to be learned, such as that of life and death, and treating others gently and kindly.)
12. Enroll your child in piano or violin lessons.
Many children find satisfaction in learning to play a musical instrument. Learning to play the piano, or in some inner city schools, the violin, is a wonderful skill for a child to master. Some children who learn to play the violin in city public schools play beautiful little pieces in as few as four months.
Discipline and Support:
13. Keep up on your child's activities when they visit other children. Communicate with their friend's parents about your child's special needs. How is the child when he or she comes home from staying a night or day with a friend? Are they irritated or unfocused? Make any adjustments that are necessary and guide your children and teens in positive friendships and relationships.
Extra Activities, Vacations and Day Trips
14. Plan day trips to art museums, aquariums, zoos or places of historical interest. Such trips will enrich a child's life more than amusement parks and will contribute to a more focused child, rather than the opposite.
15. Exercise, walk, camp, hike, visit local parks or lakes for recreation.
Sleep and Precautions
16. Make sure your child is getting to sleep at a regular and reasonable bed time and don't resort to medicine to help him to sleep. (Sleeping pills of any sort can create a vicious cycle and be potentially dangerous. They can be addictive, and giving a child sleeping pills from pre-teen or teen years, can create a unhealthy or even dangerous lifestyle. Sleeping pills can be used in suicide attempts, and having them available in the house can be unwise for certain children, teens or adults.)
Provide Your Children Generously with Your Time and Love
17. Spend quality and quantity time with your child. Show love and approval regularly. Be patient with your child's progress. Try not to be a perfectionist with your children's pursuits and let your children know you are happy with them.
Children need approval to develop healthy self-esteem. This doesn’t mean flattering or “worshipping” one’s child, but a child needs name-calling in a positive way rather than as a put-down. Self-fulfilling prophecy is a powerful psychological truth. If we believe we are stupid, no good, bad, then that is how we are going to act to a certain extent. Why try if we are already labeled as a failure? If we believe we are good, have potential, can succeed, have succeeded, then we are more willing to try new things, to be diligent until we do succeed despite obstacles.
18. Care for your family's spiritual needs. Read the Bible, Bible stories and pray with your child. Teach him to pray. Pray for your child. Build a value system in your child. Don't let the television teach life's lessons to your child. Teach a child to respect him or herself. Teens should have a firm foundation in moral values.
Keep the lines of communication open with your teen. Don’t overreact to infractions by the teen or child. Try to discipline through reasoning with a child rather than with a cold-authoritarian approach.
Keep hope alive and don't give up. Your positive attitude will reflect in your decisions and your dealings with your child. Keep well-informed and well read on everything involved with your child's situation. Parents magazine often has good articles, as does Awake! magazine (Watchtower, Brooklyn, NY), in addition to some helpful books that have been written on child-reading. Be selective in which books you read on this subject is important.
Professional Help and Education
19. Tutoring, coaching, mentoring, both in or after school can be supportive for children and teens. Personal assistants in the classroom also can be of help if a child has special needs. Inquire with your school about it.
20. One-on-one programs in the public schools or public library such as tutoring in reading can help a child to focus and make progress academically when he or she might be struggling.
21. Communicate with your children's teachers regularly. Visit often and attend school meetings.
Scott Wolfenden is an educator in Newark, NJ. He is a board member of Association for Youth, Children and Natural Psychology. Certified to teach Early Childhood, Grade School, Middle School Science and High School Psychology, State of NJ. BA in Social Science and Psychology, Thomas Edison State College. Author of ADHD book, Overcoming ADHD Without Medication: A Parent and Educator's Guidebook.