Without sound self esteem we feel we have no self worth unless someone praises us. Our sense of worth becomes dependent on the opinion of others. Receiving praise becomes a necessity. Without it we feel less than, inferior, worth less than everyone else.
You can't feel good about yourself when you put yourself down or allow someone else to put you down. It gives you low self esteem and that makes you vulnerable to the opinions and attitudes of others. Self esteem is threatened when your authority and sense of worth are compromised. You don’t need anyone else's opinion to validate your worth. You’re here. That means you have a purpose and you are worth something. How much is up to you.
When we indulge in the human tendency that we are all guilty of doing at some time, to criticize ourselves, what we do and how we do it, we make ourselves feel less worthy. As a consequence, our self esteem takes a dive. Each time we engage in criticizing ourselves, we endanger our self esteem. With it goes caring about ourselves, taking care of ourselves, loving ourselves.
The more we refuse to accept a negative experience and rail against it, the more we self-destruct emotionally. If we choose to perceive something as negative, that choice gives it power to hurt us. Anytime we allow something to hurt us, our self esteem is at risk.
Total unconditional acceptance of one's self is a basic requirement of sound self esteem. There's an effect, a reaction, for every action you take. The consequence of the action, negative or positive, is what happens to you.
It's all relative whether you perceive it as good or bad. What's good for someone else, may not be good for you. In fact, there is no way you could possibly know what is good for someone else, and you can merely hope that your choices are good for you.
What’s important to remember is that you would not be the person you are today without each and every choice you have made in the past. If there are some things you don’t care for, then you must choose differently. When your choices continue to be the same, your life continues to be the same. Make new choices and your world will surely change for you. You always have the power to change your life.
Lois Marie Gacher, CLC is the author of Rise&Shine: A Conscious Way of Life, founder of High Esteem Seminars, LLC, and co-owner of Alphasonics International. She is also a life coach and combines that with intuitive personal counseling to provide her specialized Tough Luv Counseling.
Lois Marie has been in the self-improvement field since 1993 providing counseling and selling subliminal self-improvement audio programs from Alphasonics International. She offers a unique combination of direct counseling with subliminal support and written material from her book. All bases covered, one cannot help but succeed, as her clients will attest.
Ms Gacher is also one of the co-authors of 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2 and The Vital Element: Self Esteem. She feels that high self esteem is the basis for a life of success and happiness. If you’ve ever lost it, she can show you how to get it back and keep it no matter what happens to you.
Her book, Rise&Shine: A Conscious Way of Life details how to rise above any hardship and remain secure in yourself. Her code is: You must believe in yourself first. All else follows. Her mantra: Faith not Fear. Rise&Shine was written from life experience after her own self esteem had been destroyed, she had lost the love and future she was counting on, and had to find a way to rebuild her life again. Years later when circumstances turned her world upside down again, she used her book to put herself back together for yet another life. That gave her the mission to use what she had learned the hard way to help others find their way when they are lost.
Lois Marie continues to be active in all of these endeavors as well as expanding into an online home study course based on her book. You can find further information at http://www.alphasonics.com.