You know those things you want to do someday? Here’s my partial list:
Learn to speak Spanish, write a book, Take belly dancing lessons, complete a baby scrapbook for each of my three children, read the stack of books by my bed, help my daughter with her knitting and so much more. My list continues, indefinitely.
You know those things you do every day? Here’s my partial list:
Be wife, mommy, daughter, sister, coach, trainer and friend, answer emails, exercise, manage pets, call the plumber, call the phone company, buy more dog food, change the light-bulb, pay the bills, manage the family calendar and so much more. This list goes on indefinitely, too.
And, if I am not careful, these two lists shall never meet. List number one will forever be dominated by the hands-on-hips glare of self-important list number two. And list number two does have a point. She is filled with the items that MUST get done. Her tasks concern “real” issues such as getting food on the table, running a business, getting the kids to violin and ballet, making doctor’s appointments, putting the kids to bed at night and getting them up in the morning, on TIME.
List number one has none of these serious issues to offer. All she has is her commitment to balance, love, fun, creativity and living life to the fullest. List number one does have a secret though. She knows how important she is. Unlike list number two, she doesn’t need to prove herself. She just patiently waits for her opportunity to shine. So how do we let our number one list shine when days, weeks and months fly by, filled with the concerns of list number two?
Well, I have recently implemented a strategy. I have begun to put my list one items in my calendar. I started with belly dancing lessons. No, I am not a dancer, but if a “belly” is a requirement, then after 3 kids, I’ve got that one covered. In fact the last time I took a dance class was ballet when I was 7. So, to say I’m a beginner, is a vast understatement. On top of that, when my daughter saw me watching an episode of “Shimmy” and practicing some of the “moves,” she suggested that I stop it, immediately. This gives you an idea of my natural talent.
Luckily, list number one does not care about what people think or whether things make sense. I forged ahead with my strategy. I made a note on a particular day to find a class and sign up. Each time I came across that note and didn’t have time to do it, I moved it forward to the next day, the next week and yes, the next month. It took 3 months, but finally there was a day in which I was able to take the time to find and sign up for a class. That set the wheels in motion. I found someone to stay with the kids, purchased a beginners skirt and set of finger cymbals and blocked out those Wednesday classes in my calendar.
As soon as I make lunches for the kids, start dinner and get my little one in the tub, I’m going to practice my moves!
TIPS FOR LIST NUMBER ONE:
1. Take a moment. Let’s stop right here. This is going to take some intention. Actually, take a moment for yourself. Try to think about just you. You can go back to everyone else, in a moment, I promise.
2. Identify one item that you have wanted to do, take care of, learn about or research, for some time. Things that don’t count:
a. Cleaning out your daughter’s drawer where she glued the crayons to the train set and now nothing can ever be removed again, for eternity. By the way, the solution is to wait until she grows out of crayons, trains and that dresser, and then toss the whole thing.
b. Reading that book by your bed; “How to help your children get along with each other, in just 400 easy steps.” Try my mantra; “fighting is good for them,” and then close the door to drown out the noise.
c. Starting a yoga practice. Okay, I’m just kidding. This is a good one, just don’t follow in my footsteps and try to do the down dog, up cat, sideways frog, on your first go ‘round.
3. But I digress; Now, do you have your item in your mind? What is the first tiniest step that needs to be taken to make it real? Is that really the tiniest thing? Really?
4. When can you take that step? It doesn’t matter when. It might be next week, or tomorrow. Just write it down in your calendar. If you use an electronic calendar, you can always move it forward digitally. If you use a handwritten calendar, write it on a post-it so that it can be moved forward if needed.
5. Never feel guilty for moving that item forward. It will happen in right timing. Just put it on the list.
6. Allow list number one to shine!
Jamee Tenzer is a business and executive coach for women who have it “all,” but are too busy or exhausted to enjoy it. She offers another way of approaching the integration of her client’s professional and personal “worlds” that supports women as they make their vision real in the workplace and have more fun in life. Jamee’s background as an entrepreneur, small business owner and executive, provides her with the expertise to work with women in all business environments.
Prior to becoming a coach, Jamee enjoyed a successful 15-year career in the entertainment industry working on numerous live network television shows and series including the Academy Awards, the American Music Awards, the opening of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, Hot Country Nights and the Golden Globes. During her career she worked for Dick Clark Productions, the William Morris Agency, ABC, NBC, Ken Ehrlich Productions and many more. She also developed and produced the highly-acclaimed MTV television series and franchise; “Music In High Places,” sponsored by MSN and Radio Shack, and served as the Marketing Director for the franchise.
Prior to her career in entertainment, she co-owned and operated “One Cooks, The Other Doesn’t,” a catering company that served the world of entertainment and celebrity. Jamee and her business partners co-authored the cookbook “Party Perfect” in 1998.
In 2002 Jamee became certified as a mediator, earned her CPC (Certified Professional Coach) certification and founded “Life Works Coaching.”
She holds a PCC Credential from the International Coach Federation and is a Trainer for the International Coach Academy, based in Australia.
In 2006, she was invited to co-author “101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life,” and she currently writes and publishes the monthly newsletter; “Coach Me Quick!”
Ms. Tenzer is a busy woman, doing and laughing a lot as she shares an integrated life in Los Angeles with her husband and three children.
Member: International Coaching Federation, Producers Guild of America, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.