No More “Some Day”

THE WORDS FOR THIS FYI are hard for me to write.

Someone very close to me was recently diagnosed with fourth-stage Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. So the words for this FYI don’t come easily or painlessly. But one thing I’ve learned over time is that –

Writing focuses your thinking. So creating and sharing this FYI with you is, I hope, useful for me as well as Informative and Inspirational for you.

The good news is: This is a very treatable form of cancer. I’ve already spoken to people who have loved ones that have lived for years with this type of cancer, even when it’s in its fourth stage.

The troubling part is: I know this isn’t a death sentence but it’s very disheartening watching someone I love age what seems like 10 years in two short weeks.

I often write about the importance of Carpe Diem — seizing the day. I believe, and I like to think that I live the words I write. I truly try to “walk my talk” and to test that conviction you only need to ask the people close to me.

But this FYI isn’t about testimonials.

This FYI is about a major life lesson for me and, I hope, one for you.

You may have had the experience of having someone close to you die; perhaps a mother, father, sibling or friend. If you have I’m sorry for your loss.

Thankfully, I’ve never had a relative or some very close to me die. The only person I knew and felt that kind of close to who died was Christopher Reeve. His death was a profound experience for me. I felt tremendous grief because he died only ten days after he had spoken at a seminar I produced where he was the featured speaker. I had a lot of anxiety and was very emotional on the night of the event; it created a unique bond between Chris and me. Even now I think about him every day.

But the reality of the experience I’m having right now brings mortality –

Even closer to home. I’m finding myself doing “The Rocking Chair Test” every day. It’s as if I’m the one with cancer and I’m thinking of all of the things I need to do. It drives home the idea that –

Today not Some Day. I imagine myself as an old man, nearing the end of his days. As I sit on the porch in my rocking chair and contemplate my life, I ponder if the decisions I have made (and will make) have meaning. Will I be proud or ashamed of my decisions? How will these decisions have affected the course of my life and the lives of others?

“The Rocking Chair Test” helps me take a long view of my options. If any decision passes the test, then I know that it was a good choice.

I don’t want to be all alone in a hospital bed thinking back on my life, wishing I had gone to Ireland … or I had spent more time with my kids … or hugged and said “I love you” more often.

I don’t know that my “someone-very-close-to-me” patient is thinking these thoughts. I only know that I don’t want to leave any “unfinished business” behind me when I die. This experience has made me realize more than ever that I – and I’m going to add, we – need to –

Live while we’re alive. Yes, I’ve always talked about creating a life worth living and a legacy worth leaving. Yes, I’ve always championed Carpe Diem. But today I’m adding a new step.

FYI ACTION IDEA: Today I’m creating a Must-Experience-NOW! List. It’s not a dream board or a goal that I want to achieve in the next five or ten years. It’s a list of things I need to say, do or experience Right Now — not “Some Day”.

Starting Today, and for the rest of my life, there will be No More “Some Day”.

FYI IDEA IN ACTION: Today especially, I’m Thankful For and Thank YOU – those of you I know personally and those of you I may not have met but who I feel close to because you make an effort to connect through this ezine. Your friendship and support are important to me. I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness and prayers.

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