Our mood is impacted by many variables in our lives if we let it. Our hectic lifestyles, poor self care, habits, emotional problems, the weight of our history, etc. can all have a huge impact on how we feel and therefore how available we are in our relationship(s).
But how we feel can also be a choice. We can train ourselves to live with better moods. Our perception is the engine behind our feelings. How we choose to look at our world, how we choose to narrate our story, and receive what it offers dictates how we feel. How we let information in and wear it on our body influences our mood! (for a more detailed explanation: Unlimited Power, by Anthony Robbins)
If you choose to look at a situation from a negative angle, and in your mind's eyes it is big, loud, blinding, tight, looming, your feelings associated with the situation will include powerlessness, hopelessness, overwhelm, fear, worry. If you look at the same situation and make it small, far away, quiet, malleable, open the feelings generated now will include mastery, control, hope, strength, ease, power.
The same is true for good stuff - if you look at them as big, loud, bright, colorful, expansive, all encompassing you will feel ecstasy, excitement, zest, joy, exuberance; if you look at them as small, distant, dull, quiet you will miss out on the joy and gift of the moment!
Also, depending on how we choose to perceive something, we decide to act on it and let it impact us accordingly. We have ideas of how we should look depending on what we believe the impact is on us: If we think we should be tired because we didn't get enough sleep, we carry ourselves tire like and feel tired. If we think something is supposed to make us happy, we smile and we feel joy. If we think we should be overwhelmed because we have a lot to do, we droop our shoulders with the weight of the world, and feel hopeless and powerless. Get my drift? You try it. Choose a perception, see how you carry it on your body and how you feel.
Hence, you can choose how to perceive, let stuff in and the meaning you assign to it, and how you act and carry it on your body and take control of your mood in any instance!
You can, starting right now, have the mood you want at any moment in time. When you choose positive moods consistently over time, you rewire your brain with new neurological pathways where it learns to feel good on its own and it won't require as much effort or consciousness on your part.
You feel the way you choose to feel. When you choose to assign a negative meaning to a situation or interaction and choose anger, jealousy, resentment, or other negative feelings it is difficult to feel loving, nurturing, open and available to be in connection with your partner. Choose right now to view your relationship, situation, interaction differently and to have a flirtatious, sexy, fun, warm, caring, loving mood and invite your partner into connection!
Happy Perceiving!!
***RELATED ACTIVITY AND MEDITATION / VISUALIZATION***
Catch yourself feeling cranky or other negative feelings; practice changing the meaning you are assigning to the moment and make your body have the look of feelings associated with the new meaning...
~~ In my time of quiet today, I digest this concept and own the power to create my own mood.
Ms. Viglucci has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology and Human Development, from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, and a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, from Hofstra University, is a Clinical Member and Approved Supervisor of AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy), a Certified Family Therapist, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Imago Therapist. Ms. Viglucci has been in the mental health service field for over a decade in diverse capacities and has been a member of several professional organizations. She has written articles and chapters for MFT publications, the In The Metropolis ezine for personal success and the Successful Couples ezine for Couple Success, and created programs and products to assist Couples in their Journey.
Ms. Viglucci's latest focus has been the MetroRelationship Outreach Campaign - Bringing Insights and Tools on Relationship Success to Couples by speaking and presenting seminars and workshops at events, and by being interviewed by the media.