How often have you heard a single women state, with a sigh, that all the good men are taken? Hmm... is that really true? If you're attracting less than great men into your life, it's very likely that it’s got more to do with you than them. Here are four reasons that may be true for you.
1. You Get What You Expect
Finish this sentence: Men are (fill in the blank.) Just say or write everything that goes through your mind. If things like 'men are lazy and selfish' or 'men can't be trusted' or ‘men will cheat eventually’, etc. are the types of thoughts you had, then a shift is needed. If this is how you expect men to be, this is exactly what you'll attract.
The good news? You know how to manifest what you expect! Your job now is to change what you expect, so you can change what you get.
2. Focusing on the Wrong Stuff
Do you and your friends complain about the different men you all know, whether you're dating them or know them in other ways? Do you send and receive male bashing jokes with friends and colleagues? Do you watch TV shows that bash men and portray them as useless and stupid? All of these activities focus your attention on what you don't want in your ideal mate! You may have already come across this bit of wisdom somewhere else in your life: you tend to get what you focus on.
3. Not Clear About What You Want
Are you clear about your values, your life vision, and what you want from a mate? If you haven't taken the time to do the inner work to figure out what you truly want and need, you'll find yourself settling for something else.
4. Filling a Void
Regardless of the messages in all the romance novels and movies out there, a man cannot “complete you” or fill a void in you. If you don't feel whole, you'll attract men who don't feel whole. It’s not always easy to tell with men; their lack of wholeness may not look like it does for you (for instance, you may come across as though you don’t need anything, and he may bend over backwards to make you happy…two sides of the same coin).
Write this sentence somewhere you can find again (and again); it’s so important to keep in mind:
We attract who we are, not who we want.
If you want to learn where you are in your life, really look at who you have attracted; your mirror is there.
My strong recommendation is that you accept what you see as the truth right now, and know that from that place you’ll be able to do something about it. You can’t change what you’re not aware of. Keep in mind the old, and very powerful, saying:
“the truth shall set you free.”
You may be thinking to yourself that tackling these four things are going to take you a lifetime to address. Take heart. Just take the first step: awareness; I always say that’s half the battle right there. Then be gentle with yourself as you take your next steps toward changing your negative expectations about men, shifting the way you talk about them with others, getting clear on what you really want in a man, and feeling whole and complete just as you are. You work on those areas, and I know you will have great men all around you in no time!
Stop struggling and settling. Learn to attract great men into your life. Receive Chapter 1 of the highly acclaimed "Men are Great" book by visiting: Men are Great Chapter.