"What now, my ‘king,'" he greeted me sarcastically, his face expressing his obvious exasperation.
"I have been experiencing unusual wisdom, and wondered what I should do?"
"The wisdom you have experienced and are now telling me about is dead and gone. Do you see that? The truth can only be found in this moment. How many times must I repeat this? Please, Instead of coming here bothering me by regurgitating all of this profound wisdom, you would be much better advised to stay in your room where you will see far greater truths. Are you here because you are lonely? Don't allow yourself to become lonely; it will steal everything from you. Now, since this will be our last meeting, you are well advised to pay close attention to what I am about to say.
"Your markers on mastering the first Two Great Weapons of the Spirit have been Concentration and the Investigation of your Body and Mind. Other indicators will mark your progress regarding future existences. As you know, a Stream Entrant usually bypasses the temporary heaven realm and will return to earth or a similar sphere no more than seven times in a human-type, physical form before going on. Because of the experience of their inner work and the resulting wisdom, the stream entrant will have seen through the belief in a permanent personality, will have dismissed every doubt and skepticism, and will have discarded any faith in religious rules or rituals. He or she has seen for themselves that these three things can never be found in the moment, and reside only in the mind as past, dead thoughts, and concepts.
"The stream entrant moves on to become a once-returner, who will have almost conquered sensual desire and anger. This is where you are, my friend, as I so kindly pointed out by eating your food!"
Weepasa was speaking about sensual desire, but I didn't think that this was a problem. I did feel, however, that I would never conquer the anger; it was so much a part of me. It would take an unusual occurrence for it to end forever.
"The Once-Returner becomes a Non-Returner, Weepasa continued, "when he has totally exhausted sensual desire and anger. You are very close to this. After overcoming the first five hurdles, the Non Returner must then triumph over the last five, which are extremely difficult to surmount. These are; Craving for Existence in the World of Pure-Form, Craving for Existence in the World of Non-Form, Spiritual Pride and Self-Righteousness, Spiritual Restlessness, and Egoism (I am an individual separate from Reality). These obstacles are subtle and operate at the very refined level of an advanced being, but they must be defeated."
I understood Weepasa, from an intellectual level, regarding these five advanced obstacles, but assumed they would appear quite differently to one highly developed enough to really approach them.
"Once a key seeker surmounts these hurdles and becomes a key ‘keeper,'" he continued, "life is experienced from a totally different point of view. The inner work, which in the beginning involved endless labors to keep out intruding thought, is now constant and effortless; a natural state of perfect existence. Now, one no longer feels a need achieve anything because everything has been done.
"There is no more struggling to become anything other than what you are right now - as one accepts everything and rejects nothing. There is unconditional, undirected attention of everything which comes into the fields of body and mind, but this attention is a mirror with it all being reflected rather than being absorbed and grasped by the mind, because the big ‘I', the self is now gone. Now you are no longer becoming, no longer ambitious, no longer struggling to become anything except what you are, with no agenda, no fears, just maintaining this last body, this last human form. The goal of goallessness has been reached."
But I still have my goal of the key! How could I attain my goal without a goal? Or was this goal holding me back?" I was very confused – by my thoughts. Perhaps that was what he was trying to teach me.
Weepasa drove his point home: "Remember; there is no ‘I' in the moment, there is just ‘That' which is present. And although there is the illusion that ‘you' are in the moment, with something else, there is not enough room for both ‘you' (the apparition) and ‘That Which Is' (Reality). It therefore follows that ‘you' must be ‘that.' THE MOMENT IS ALL OF YOU; ‘I AM THAT.' Can you not see this? If there is loneliness, loneliness is ‘THAT,' it is the truth, it is the truth of the moment - and it is you. It is not something that can be controlled or wished away; there it is! Nobody is lonely, but somebody is loneliness. When you accept this simple fact; ‘IT IS THERE,' ‘I AM THAT,' you will never again be lonely; you will simply observe the loneliness with piercing awareness, and since ‘you' do not exist and cannot be a target for the loneliness, it disappears into the next moment. You see; you will never find Truth. You can only find the falsities - and when the falsities are revealed, Reality will find you.
"You have had extraordinary experiences; the Great Calms, the Investigations, these are milestones in your journey, but a journey, like the morning fog in the forest, clears slowly with the heat of the sun, with always a remaining patch here and there. You cannot hurry the fog or try to blow it away; it dissipates when the time is right. Likewise, your fog will disperse also. This is where patience is required."
The fog was clearing . . . slowly. Now I better understood my feelings on the mountain, when I was saddened by the fact that my wounded horse would never run again. There was sorrow, and the sorrow was real, it was the truth, it was what was there in the moment. But ‘I' was the sadness. It was not happening to ‘Me.' It was me, or rather ‘I' was the illusion, skewing the sadness into something that I thought I should be able to control. I AM THAT, nothing else. So now, I finally knew what a John tried to tell me with my very first lesson with the inner work so many years ago; I AM THAT! What an amazing being he was.
Weepasa then gave me a fierce look, "Do you finally understand everything I have explained?"
I resignedly nodded "Yes."
"The Source is very close, and the key is within reach," said Weepasa, "but this is your final instruction. Now it is entirely up to you whether or not you will slay the dragon. There will be no further meetings." (To be continued)
E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit www.AYearToEnlightenment.com