This is the story of Tom, a CFO for a very large insurance company. He has been CFO for almost 30 years. He has a lovely wife named Mary and two daughters who are still
in high school.
Tom’s life is going well except that he is not happy. He has been working 60-hour weeks for 25 years and longs to do other things as well.
With the help of a modern-day genie named Vascar, he finds a path that creates more joy and balance in his life.
It is Saturday and Tom is hiking up his favorite mountain near his home in Vermont. It is September and leaves of every color of the rainbow are falling gently on the ground . As Tom reaches the top, he takes a deep breath of the cool, crisp air.
“Something needs to change. I am not happy working this hard anymore.”
Suddenly, he hears something rustling on the ground next to his feet. He looks down and to his fascination, he sees a genie.
The genie looks up at Tom. “I am Vascar, a modern-day genie. Like my ancestors, I can grant you 3 wishes. Unlike my ancestors, I am also a life coach. This means that only after we work together on each of your 3 wishes will they be granted.
Tom could hardly speak. “What will his wife Mary say when he tells her that he has been talking to a genie?”
Vascar spoke again.
“Tom, I can help you. Hold nothing back from yourself about what you truly desire and all of your wishes will be granted. Now, what is your first desire?
It did not take long for Tom to answer. “I would like to have more time with my family. I have been working 60-hour weeks for nearly 25 years. My wife wants to have more time to enjoy life together and my two daughters will only be at home for a few more years. I want to get to know them more deeply and for them to know me as well. I would like this time with them to be something we will always remember.
He went on to his second desire without any prompting from Vascar.
“I would also like more time for my hobbies and other interests. You see, I have an avid interest in languages and would like to travel to exotic countries. I’ve only been out of the country twice and there are many more places I wish to explore.”
Vascar responded. “What is your third desire, Tom?”
“I’d like to get to know my co-workers again. I have been juggling too many projects. I am managing a group that I no longer know – at least not the way I did when our company was still young. I feel that if we had more time to enjoy being together, our group will be happier and stay with the company much longer.”
Vascar smiled. “In my father’s day, he would have granted you these wishes and then disappeared. In the 21st Century, we do coaching first and then grant your wishes. You might say that coaching has become a modern kind of magic.
The sun is setting soon and it will be dark. Why don’t you spend the night here and I will come back in the morning. We can work together then after you have had time to think through each of your 3 desires.”
Tom nodded. “I will do it.”
The genie disappeared. Tom sat for a very long time. Just before the sun was ready to set, he reached into his backpack for his sleeping bag and warm clothes.
The stars were bright and he remembered all of the times he had taken his wife Mary and the girls camping.
Tom began to work with each of his 3 desires. It was very easy to think clearly under the stars.
More Time with My Family
He realized how preoccupied he had been even when he was at home with his family. He often chose to work instead of spend time with them.
“Why not take everyone to Hawaii? I’ve saved up two extra weeks of my vacation time.”
He realized that he wanted to do much more than that - this was simply a way to begin.
More Time to Study Languages and Travel
Tom thought for a moment. “To study and travel, I need more time than I have now.
What are my choices?
I can talk with Fred, our CEO. We haven’t talked informally for awhile. What is he thinking right now? Does he want to downsize? Are there obsolete projects we can eliminate? Is there someone in my department that I can delegate some of my projects to? How open will Fred be when I tell him that I want to work 40 hours a week instead of 60? Will he understand?
What if he says ‘no’ to my desire for more balance? What will I do then?”
Tom looked up at the night sky. “I know there is a way…..”
More Quality Time With My Staff
Tom began to think about how he could have more quality time with his group once again.
“In the early days, we were such a fun company. We had picnics, baseball games, birthday parties….we were all one big family. I could not wait to get to work each
morning.
When we grew, much of the spontaneity…the laughter, fun, comraderie….melted away and everyone became serious about their work.
I will talk with Fred about having picnics and other events together. I know this will help us in many ways. And, I will enjoy getting to know my group again.”
Tom feel asleep with a big smile on his face. It felt wonderful thinking about all the new opportunities coming into his life.
The gentle warmth of the morning sun on his face woke him up.
As he was dressing, Vascar came to greet him.
He spoke. “I see you have given much thought to each of your 3 desires. Let me put my coaching hat on so that we can talk about each of them.”
Tom began by sharing some of his insights from last night.
Vascar spoke. “Let’s talk about your family first. How do you feel about sharing openly your insights about being preoccupied in the past and now wanting to be more available to them?”
Tom said that he wanted to do this and would share this when he returned home.
The genie nodded and went on to talk about Tom’s desire to work fewer hours and explore his interest in studying languages and traveling more.
“What fears, if any, do you have about talking with Fred?”
Tom answered. “Fred can be conservative and cautious. I thought about this last night and asked myself what I would do if he feels that he needs a CFO who puts in 60-hour weeks.
I decided that I would offer to share my job with someone equally as qualified as I am – or find a position in another company which enables me to have more time.”
“How do you feel about this?”
“It is never easy to leave a place that has been my ‘home’ for so long. Yet, I am willing to risk the possibility that he will say no.”
Vascar responded. “Your courage is noble. It could be a good idea to think through all of Fred’s concerns…and all possible solutions. When you talk with him, you may want to let him know that you would like to find a solution that is beneficial for the company too.”
Tom nodded in agreement.
He went on to Tom’s 3rd desire. “Besides spending more time with your staff, how have you shown them that you appreciate them?”
Tom thought for a moment. “It has been awhile since I have acknowledged them for their loyalty, dedication and hard work. In addition to the fun things we will be doing together, I will come up with some ways to show my appreciation now. Thanks for the idea.”
Vascar replied. “You are most welcome.”
Vascar Grants Tom His Three Wishes
It took Tom only a month to make all 3 of these positive changes in his life. His conversations with Fred went so well that Fred decided to make major changes in his company so that he, too, could work a 40-your week. He let go of many projects which were not serving his clients any more.
“It’s a miracle”, thought Tom. And then he remembered Vascar.
“In three weeks, I will be on a plane to Hawaii with Mary and the girls. My hours at work now give me time to start planning some of the trips I want to take and we have eliminated many stressful projects at work and the staff is smiling and happy again.
Tonight I am taking the girls to a football game. I am filled with joy.”
© 2008 Oshana Himot. All Rights Reserved.
Oshana Himot, MBA, CHT, is an organizational and personal development consultant. She coaches executives and groups in work-life balance, creative marketing, and communication. Oshana is currently writing a book called It’s All About Joy. She has 2 Masters of Business Administration degrees from Golden Gate University in San Francisco, California and is a Certified Hypnotherapist. Oshana is a member of the Institute of Executive Development and the Guerilla Marketing Association and can be reached at 480-353-7312 or by email at oshanaben@yahoo.com.
Oshana Himot, MBA, CHT, is an organizational and personal development consultant. She coaches executives and groups in work-life balance, creative marketing, and communication. Oshana is currently writing a book called It’s All About Joy. She has 2 Masters of Business Administration degrees from Golden Gate University in San Francisco, California and is a Certified Hypnotherapist. Oshana is a member of the Institute of Executive Development and the Guerilla Marketing Association and can be reached at 480-353-7312 or by email at oshanaben@yahoo.com.