When I started my company, I committed to reserving one day a week for “me time”. Now, it took me about three years to take advantage of this one day; however, I believe I am finally there! On one of these occasions I decided to get my hair done – usually a three hour process. The beauty shop where I get my hair done is located across the street from a mortuary and on this particular day I noticed a young man put a dolly in a van and within about 40 minutes he returned with a business partner. They pulled up to the back door, opened the van door and rolled a body into the mortuary. A sobering experience to watch; I began to wonder who was beneath the shroud and what were their last thoughts?
Was this person thinking about that last business decision where they could have closed the deal faster? Or was this person thinking about his/her career? Was this person thinking about how much money they had in the bank? Or was their last thought on their family – in how they wish they could have spent just one more hour together at their favorite restaurant? Could it have been how they would have enjoyed reading their children (or grandchildren) one more bedtime story? What were this person’s last thoughts?
I recently met a gentleman whose company interviews terminally ill patient in the last days of their lives; he shared that not once did any of these patients talk about work, money or things. They spent their remaining time reminiscing about great family experiences or how they wished they could have spent just one more day laughing with their family, dancing with their spouse, spending time at their favorite vacation spot. The wisha coulda woulda thoughts.
As Extraordinary Leaders it is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the corporate environment (the job); however, in the full scheme of life, how important is that job? Yes, it allows you to enjoy the life you have! Yes, it allows you to lead organizations to greatness! And yes, it allows you to go places you may not be able to go without that income; however, what have you given up that really matters? If you had seven days to live, how would you want to spend those days? If you had fourteen days to live, who would you want to spend that time with? If you had 365 days to live, how would you live an Extraordinary Life each day?
This is not an article about gloom and doom – it is a simple reminder that you, the Extraordinary Leader, must live a life which allows you to spend time doing those things which really matter. Life Balance is more than “not working on the weekends”; it is identifying what matters most and ensuring you are spending time doing just that. For example, over the last 25 years I have consistently said that my priorities are God, Family and then everything else – sounds good. And yet, during a self reflection exercise, I discovered that I am spending my quality time on everything else and not with God or my Family. Oops! How easy it is to get caught up in the “everything else’s” of the world!
I hear you loud and clear – “if I don’t do the job … it won’t get done! … I hold a C-level role within my company – “I have to sacrifice my relationships to make things happen” … “My company needs me!” All of these are true; however at what expense? Two more stories and then we’ll drive it home!
The first story surrounds Jim Cantalupo, the former chairman and CEO of McDonalds. In 2003, Mr. Cantalupo was brought back from retirement to lead the company to a higher level of success. Under Mr. Cantalupo's leadership McDonald's posted its highest sales gain in 30 years. In 2004, at a restaurant convention, Mr. Cantalupo died. Within hours of Mr. Cantalupo's death, Andrew McKenna was elected non-executive chairman of the company's board and Charlie Bell was elected president and CEO.
The second story is more personal. In 1997, I received a call from one of my senior managers wife, she shared with me that Yogi, a phenomenal leader within my group, had died that night. Yogi was in his mid-forties. I wept, contacted my VP and my team, assisted the family in what ever I could do for that day and immediately called a contractor who had been working on an important global implementation and asked them to take over Yogi’s responsibility to complete the job. The project was on a timeline and it had to be completed. We were sad as an organization and at the same time we had to continue with operations.
I share these two stories with you, the Extraordinary Leader, to simply remind you that as indispensible as you may believe you are to your organization – they will go on, it is business. Now, please don’t take this as you should neglect your duties … ABSOLUTLY NOT! Your company does rely on you to GET IT DONE! However, they will do much better if you’re alive to get it done! Living a balanced life is one way to ensure a long, healthy and wealthy life.
So, what does this mean to you? It means identifying what is really important to you in the full scheme of life and making it and keeping it a priority. Is it a better relationship with your Creator? Is it more quality time with your spouse? What about spending time with your children? When was the last time that you went to a baseball game with your child? Or went on a date with your spouse? A real date … not one where you’re constantly on the phone or responding to your blackberry!
If your family is on the top of your list, do you understand the love language of each family member? For example, my one of my mother’s love language is spending time together – she just wants to know that you are there! So, sometimes it means going on long shopping trips – I am not a shopper; however, it is what’s important to her so I do it! My father’s love language is being a father (service), which means that when I need something that I can not do for myself, I have to let my pride go and ask for his thoughts, help and wisdom.
What ever is important to you, in this case family – find out how they would value the time you spend with them and just do it. It actually can become fun! Yes, I know you thought it would be all about you – it is indirectly, by making others happy and more fulfilled, you will begin to receive that which you need for a more balanced life!
Here are 15 tips for a balanced life:
1. Determine what is/who is important to you and decide how you are going to spend time making that thing/person happier.
2. Take fifteen minutes at the beginning of each day and decide how you are going to ensure a balanced life for that day. And then expect it (intend for it) to happen!
3. Before you walk out the door, give your spouse a ten second kiss – each day! During the day, send your spouse an Instant Message telling them how excited you will be to see them that evening!
4. Each day, before you walk out the door, give each of your children a hug, a compliment and a blessing! If you’re like me, you’ll also need to tell your pet dogs good-bye (they love it too!)
5. Take the time, at least three – five times a week to get some fresh air. Take a walk with the entire family; go on a bike ride, go watch a little-league baseball game/track meet. Exercise your body!
6. Spend time with your Creator every day!
7. Once a week, play one of your favorite “loud” songs and sing it and dance to it! For me it’s singing anything by Yolanda Adams. The other day, I was looking for AKC kennels who had miniature schnauzers, when I clicked on one particular website, a song which as the words “who let the dogs out” began playing … I had so much fun singing and dancing! I had to play it a couple of times! Be Loud! Have Fun! Dance! Sing Out Loud! For those who are a little shy (or who can not sing or dance) – you may want to do this one in the privacy of your own home. Live an Extraordinary Life … Today!
8. Always BE in the moment when you are with others! This one is hard for us visionaries … but it can be done!
9. Smile! You would be surprised at how your smile will modify your life and the lives of others who see you!
10. When you go on vacation … really be on vacation. By the way, make sure you take a vacation every year!!! Even if it is a drive to see your parents or a week in Jamaica … really go on a vacation. See my favorite vacation spot at the end of the article.
11. Get a massage at least once a month. For those who are working from a tighter budget … check out your local massage school!!!
12. What is the one thing that you’ve always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What is your wisha, coulda, woulda statement?
13. What is the one thing that your family has always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What is your family’s wisha, coulda, woulda statement?
14. Get and give 12 hugs every day!
15. Decide today that you will LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE TODAY!
Send me an email and let me know which tips you’ve put in place and how your life has changed!
Bottom line: your career is very important, your role as an Extraordinary Leader within your organization is very important; however don’t ever lose sight of what is really important in life. Each time you take away from what is really important you chisel away from someone who needs you to become Extraordinarily Great!
To obtain a Free Career Guide Workbook, order a copy of the On-Purpose Workbook, the On-Purpose Person and/or the On-Purpose Business go to www.crownedgrace.com/leadership_tips_articles. You’ll also see a link to my favorite vacation spot go to -- if you decide to go, tell Linda and her team that Dr. Stephanie Parson sent you!