Relationships - What Makes Yours Tick?

If you want a relationship to click...find out what makes it tick. One question you could ask yourself is, "What do I see in another person that excites me to be with them"?

You might reply to yourself,

• I like intelligent conversation and a bit of adventure in spirit.
• I like someone who has an open mind and knows a little about a lot.
• I like someone who remembers being a kid, without the baggage.
• I love to brainstorm with someone until I'm dizzy with delight.
• I get bored quickly in limited conversation and am not impressed by financial status, only how they got there, as I create my own wealth.
• I like tall with dark hair, slim and attractive as me. I know it isn't my age wanting this because I was the same when I was younger.

Team for two

One idea of a relationship is that is a team of two companions. If it doesn't work, it's not a team. You wouldn't hitch a Clydesdale horse and a Shetland pony to the same carriage, so why would you hitch them to the same marriage? It is obvious why this team would have problems getting the carriage to town, but with people we have to look inside to see what makes them a team.

A relationship is not a hierarchy or dictatorship...it is joint-venture!

What is the quality of a relationship?

The quality of a relationship can be shown in the analogy of a musical that requires two components of equal importance:

• the singer and
• the dancer

The singer does one thing and the dancer does the other and together they work to make one musical. This analogy respects the individuality of the two parts as they need and complement each other to create something grand. They will work on developing their individual talents further and communicate changes to each other to see what works for as long as the doors are open. They are one with the music of their love.

The biggest problem people have is that their meaning of a relationship is limited to the romance/erotic stage. Many people are itching to move on once that stage is over for them because they think that's all there is to it. You hear them crying all over the radio that love is gone and it will never be back. Wah! It would be pretty sad to be a human being if that's all there was to life.

The ones that are scratching their itches will keep on looking for the love-bug to bite them over and over again, hoping for the ultimate king/queen bug. Little do they know that's there's more to the bug than its bite. Too bad. Maybe it's time to put this bug under a microscope for a closer look.

The one thing that keeps us searching for the right person to team up with is when see our mistake in choosing the wrong partner. It's like we know something doesn't feel quite right and we truly wanted this to be 'the one', but, nope. Anyway, we can use the hindsight to give us foresight for the next one.

Many people make the mistake of saying, "This is the one that will last forever". I hate to burst your bubble, but if you need to talk yourself into it or you're saying it from the romantic stage, it may not be. Life brings no guarantees and a promise is a promise made at a moment based on your current knowledge of a situation. It is the fortunate few who in fact do find the right kind of love to last for decades, but there is a team in that, too. The best you can do is enjoy the experience and realize that there is a whole life ahead of you and this person is going to share a piece of it. How much depends on the ability of the team to communicate and grow together while maintaining their individuality.

Why do people stay in a bad relationship?

Many people stay purely for relationship worship of how they want the relationship to appear to others, and no other reason. They have given up their original identity and only identify with a character in an illusion. When they outlast the orginal show, they stay only to worship the word no matter how bad the performance gets or how long ago the doors closed. They feel that without it, they are no one, so they continue to play their part, only without the music.

Know your self well...it is your protection from bad choices in relationships.

Be very honest

We may survive many a heartbreak before we actually get it all figured out, but those heartbreaks will tell you that you are definitely not ready yet, and you do get over them. So, get back to looking inward and learning more about your self and your views in life, because you will have to face them all in a relationship one day. Be honest about being ready and what kind of relationship you want.
Sure, you might say that you really like a person and so what if they have a kid, you don't mind kids. Wrong...leave a single parent alone if you have no desire to have kids of your own or if you don't even want your own in your life.

Single parents

Too many men assume that a woman with child(ren) needs a man in her life. Get over it, because the last thing a single parent needs is someone causing more destruction than the original parent already has. Many women find that lots of men have still not grown up and certainly don't need another kid in their life. Men are also very attracted to the independent working mom and see her as a source of strength, but they forget to bring their own to the equation. On the other hand, women need to accept the fact that the right man for them may be a while and need to focus on the woman they are becoming.

Woman need not feel that they must pick up where another mother left off if they really don't want to raise children anymore, especially if theirs are grown. A good empty nest feeling is a sign that you did your job well and your children are free to visit you as they please...wherever in the world you may be!