Claustrophobia/Depression/Height Phobia

Article from the EFT archives

"Petra" came to my office very depressed. She had recently moved from the East Coast to California, leaving behind family. She had lost her sister to cancer soon before 9/11 and also lost investments in the stock market and consequently lost their home.
Petra wanted to get over her depression , and wanted to be able to say no, particually to her mother who expected Petra to financially take care of her, as well as hermiddle aged brother.
She never felt good enough no matter what she did and always felt she needed to prove herself, she mentioned she also had a need to be right.
Petra also had a terror of heights and had claustrophobia.
It was time to start tapping.
"Even though whatever I did as a child was never good enough to please my parents, i'm still a wonderful; person anyway"
"Even though I did'nt feel loved, all I got was criticism, I still love and accept myself anyway"
"I'm not good enough."

We then reframed and tapped on the thought that her parents did love her, but didnt know how to show it the way she needed to hear it.
We gradually changed the words as she closed her eyes, tapped on her karate point, and imagined talking to her parents.
"I wanted to be loved the way Iwanted to be loved , and you didnt do it."
"Even though I'm scared to say what I feel and think because you wont love me, I can love and appreciate myself anyway."
"You didnt show your love to me the way I wanted it anyway, so I might as well speak up now."
"I accept that you loved me even though I felt that you didnt."
"I understand you were pushing me to succeed beyond your struggling accomplishments." (parents wer immigrants who didnt speak english when they first arrived here)
"I recognise that was how you thought you were being loving."
"I dont have to push myself that hard any more to earn love and feel worthy, I already am."
The intensity dropped to zero.
Next we addressed the issue of her father always needing to be right.
"Even though my father is yelling at me and always thinks hes right, I am a wonderful person anway."
"I hate it when hes pointing his finger and not listening to me ...he always belives hes right."
"Even though I know I was right, he didnt listen to me as I was the child. " "He thinks hes always right but I know I am. If I was an adult I could be as right as him but hes the adult."
A smile of understanding spread across her face.
"I'm always right when I tell my childeren what they should do. I know i'm right, but somehow they think they have a valid argument."
"How can they be right when I know I am, after all I have had more experience."
"How is it possible I became the same as my dad in this area?
"He was always right and so am I!!
"I choose to release this need to be right right now."
"I allow myself to let it go now."
I asked her if anything else about her parents really bothered her, and she mentined how her father used to call her stupid.
I asked her if she ever called herself names and she said yes but she did it in Russian.
I had her close her eyes and tap on her karate point as she imagine her father calling her stupid.
We tapped on: " I hate it when you call me stupid because i'm not."
"I know you re trying to movivate me to do better and succeed by criticisning me and calling me names but its not the best way to do it."
"Just because your father called you stupid and worse, you dont have to speak to me that way."
"I forgive you for calling me stupid, you had my best interests at heart."
"I need to stop calling myself stupid."
We tapped on:
"I'm a wonderful person even if I burn the dinner by forgetting whats on the stove. I am not stupid if I do that, I just did a stupid thing. I am not the dinner."
"I dont need to be mean to myself because I dont deserve it. My parents really thought I was great, they just wanted me to be even greater."
"I dont have to be the best to earn love"
"I dont have to be right to feel good."
"I dont have to be afraid of falling which means failure."
"I am wonderful just because I exist."
"I'm loving and smart with a great sense of humor."
"I can say no to my mother and feel okay with myself."
I dont have to be right and I choose to be happy in my new life.
"I'm wonderful, and perfect in my seeming imperfection."

Whe she returned the following week her energy was completely different
She had told her mother that she was not responsible for her or her brother as they had enough money of their own.
She had not needed to be right.
She was in love with california.
She had gone to look at open houses with her husband and one of the houses was on stilts. Apparently she not only went in the house she walked outside and then to the edge of the balcony overlooking a canyon. She then siad to her husband."Look at this spectacular view I would love to live in a house like this." His mouth dropped to his feet, as before she would never even go inside a hillside house, or even feel comfortable driving up a hillside.
He then asked her if she realized that they had earlier parked in a subterranean garage, a level deeper than the last time when she became claustrophobic and had a panic attack. She had not even noticed!
Petra's depression was gone, and so was a life long height phobia and claustrophobia.
We had not even directly addressed these phobias, and yet they were so intertwined with how she felt about life and herself that setting her free of certian issues set her free of the fears.
I am always amazed when changes this profound happen this quickly.
Thank you again and again for EFT.