Hey Doc!
There’s a girl that I’ve been interested in and we do the whole flirting thing all the time and some of it gets a little physical. I finally worked up the courage to ask her out and when I did she said that she liked me when she first met me but she doesn’t anymore.
Should I take this at face value or is there more to it? Was she just trying to let me down gently? Thanks for your time.
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Hello!
No, she was challenging you to be the strong, masculine guy her image had of you when you first met. By taking all this time to try to see if something would happen, you've told her that you aren't this guy, but that you're a coward.
Important lesson alert: ALWAYS close for digits, dates or sex right away. If you wait, you lose that power and have to rebuild it which is far tougher. Remember the phrase "DO IT NOW!" ONLY use that phrase to tell yourself to get moving - and always, always get moving when you use it!
Here's what you do. Tell her you don't give a rip if she's attracted to you now or not. Tell her she will be when she gets to know you. Then say, "Now, clear up Friday night. I'm going to pick you up at 8 sharp so be ready. Oh, and by the way - don't call me an hour before and claim that something just 'came up'. Be ready."
Mike, because you've let this go on so long looking for your courage, she's going to test you on this. Believe me. It's not that she wants to be a jerk, but that she's simply compelled to do these things because she's a woman - and because you've let all your power go.
DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!
Best regards...
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Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive.
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