It’s St. Valentine’s day again and you wonder where the love excitement in your life is? It’s just here!
We know the basics, right? When you fall in love, there are certain chemicals in your brain that make all your perspective shift into high gear…you really know that you are in love, because you feel it all the time. Your pulse quickens; your heart beats and this delicious feeling of anticipation gives a rosy tint to your (previously boring) life.
You also know that, once the first wave of excitement is gone, after 18 months, or two years, routine sets in…you have a secure companion, and this is a good thing. But at the same time, the pulse-quickening excitement is gone! Does it mean that the love itself is now gone? No way!...but this delicious excitement is dimmed. And you surely want it back.
The chemistry of love is based on the brain: every time we produce a feeling or a thought, we can be sure that it is based on a chemical track in our brain. The love excitement felt by the chemicals in the brain is highly addictive! And we all need that burst of dopamine in the brain that makes us feel alive, excited, connected and successful…
Are you going to search for this excitement by having a new love? This can be the solution if you are single, and you miss really the companionship and support of someone significant in your life. Then, this is a good time to take your wish for love seriously and put your call out for a new relationship. Be sure that this new relationship gives you the romantic feeling at the beginning, because without it, there is no gratification and being with someone would be more of a chore, right?
In search of excitement, are you going to have an affair? This is not such a good idea! It has the potential to give your brain a shot of the excitement you miss, for sure. By the way, it can be too exciting, and take you just to the verge of disaster, when it pushes you to risk the present relationship…now seen as boring and “lacking excitement.” You could be compared to the person who needs a new drug, or more of the previous drug dose, in order to feel excited again….Not a good comparison.
Being in love and being in drugs have something in common: the brain is actively engaged in the production of hormones that make us feel excited. As a matter of fact, this is the same mechanism that chocolate uses to make us happy!
So, do you want more love excitement/dopamine just in time for Valentine’s day? No need to take a new lover if the life you have with your present partner is good enough!
Here is what you can do: you need to generate in your brain (and hers) the dopamine-producing activity: both of you need to do something together that is completely new for both. This new activity, be it snow shoeing, trekking, ballroom dancing, etc. will provide the challenge to the brain to begin producing the results you expect.
It is even recommended that the new activity could be doing something so new, and never intended before, as to be a little challenging or dangerous…Nothing that resembles your sedated vacation plans, but more like learning to climb walls or going to Costa Rica to trek up an active volcano. Your pick, but please, for added security, take also a box of semisweet chocolate in your suitcase, and the excitement package will be completed!
Get a grip at your love life this year!
Coach Nora will help to you to see trough you personal life problems and put you on track to achieve your dreams. http://www.norafemenia.com
Coach Nora is a bilingual mentor, advisor and life coach with wide experience in helping people recover from nasty conflicts, either in the work place or in relationships. She can be reached at nora@femenia.com