Malicious Divorce Syndrome

Divorce is often brutal both to the divorcing spouses and to their children. This discussion will appreciate the enormous stress and distress that divorce subjects upon families, including both the adults and children.
A syndrome of divorce-related hostilities that affect children has been ... Divorce is often brutal both to the divorcing spouses and to their children. This discussion will appreciate the enormous stress and distress that divorce subjects upon families, including both the adults and children.
A syndrome of divorce-related hostilities that affect children has been described by Richard Gardner, MD, who labeled it the “Parental Alienation Syndrome.” As described by Richard Gardner, in the typical case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, the mother engages the child in an array of abnormal actions against the father. Here, the custodial parent successfully engages in a variety of maneuvers to alienate the child from the non-residential parent. Once successfully manipulated, the child becomes "…preoccupied with deprecation and criticism of a parent - denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated."
Ira Daniel Turket, PhD has also described a “Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome” relatively akin to Gardner’s Parental Alienation Syndrome. Both Gardner and Turket emphasize the mother as using the children to harm the ex-husband.
Although, the mother is usually the custodial parent and often has more opportunity to engage in manipulating the children, I have also seen fathers indulge in parental alienation against mothers. I, therefore, will discuss a gender-neutral divorce-related hostility that victimizes both adults and children and is caused by malicious behaviors by either the mother or the father.
Serious attacks by one divorcing parent against another can take place which may or may not solely involve manipulating the children. These divorce-related behaviors are still malicious and destructive. I will, therefore, adapt Gardner’s and Turket’s discussion and describe a more global and gender-neutral problem that I will call the “Malicious Divorce Syndrome”. The main characteristics are as follows:

1. An alienating parent punishes his/her divorcing or divorced spouse by:
Attempting to alienate their mutual children from the other parent.
Relating character-assassinating stories to the children and others about the other parent.
Involving others in malicious actions against the other parent.

2. The alienating parent may attempt to deny his/her child(ren)
Regular uninterrupted visitation with the other parent.
Uninhibited telephone access to the other parent.
Parental participation in the child(ren)'s school life and extracurricular activities

3. The pattern is pervasive and can include malicious acts towards the ex-spouse including:
Lying to the children
Lying to others
Engaging in excessive litigation
Violations of law

Often an angry alienating spouse or ex-spouse manipulates other individuals, including therapists, to engage in malicious acts against the other parent. I have known therapists, who have spoken only with the alienating spouse and have never spoken with the other spouse. Many therapists are unaware of this pattern of malicious behavior and are "fooled" by such cases.
Generally, people who are manipulated by the angry alienating parent do not realize they are being "duped." They, consequently, may feel righteous indignation and may reward the alienating parent emotionally by supporting, if not contributing, to the malicious actions.
Legal and professional authorities often have difficulty when confronted with someone who is an excellent liar. Research has revealed the inability even of "specialists" - such as psychiatrists, police, and FBI agents - to detect lying. Malicious parents who engage in such behaviors rarely have to face penalties for such actions. Judges, attorneys, and policemen cannot involve themselves in every instance of blocked paternal access. Furthermore, most victim-parents cannot afford the financial requirements involved.
Some victim-parents find the alienation attempts so painful and fruitless that they eventually "give up." Placed in a no-win situation, the parent’s "abandonment unfortunately achieves the precise result aimed for by the malicious parent. The victim-parent can then a can be criticized for not caring. These malicious behaviors, if successful, sometimes lead a child not only to hate the victim-parent, but perhaps to go years without seeing him/her. The goal of the alienator is to deprive the lost parent of a relationship with the child.