“Someday I’ll have kids.” If this is your belief, then this article is for you. For most women, someday never comes. As you get older, the less likely it is you will have kids primarily for two reasons: 1) lifestyle 2) fertility.
As you age, you get more and more stuck in the conveniences of your life. You have your routine and anyone or anything that messes with that completely irritates you and makes life virtually intolerable. Well, what does a baby do? With no set routine, a baby will bring chaos to your defined world. You will be plunged into unpredictability from the moment of birth.
What women don’t realize is after age 30, their ability to get pregnant plummets dramatically. A woman age 30 only has a 20% chance to conceive every month. By age 40, that percentage has dropped to just 5%. There is a reason you are most fertile from 18 to 28—that’s when God decided women should have babies. Physically, a woman is born with a certain number of eggs. Every month the egg or eggs released die if not fertilized. Hence, as a woman ages, the number of her eggs decreases as well as their viability. Furthermore, the risk of miscarriage as well as birth defects increases with a woman’s age.
A woman is considered high-risk after age 35. This limits her options in terms of birthing. For example, usually a home birth is ruled out by State laws and you usually must find an ob/gyn who specializes in high-risk births. Hence, you may not be able to have the birth experience you have always imagined.
The rise in the number of births in this country of women in their 30’s and 40’s is due to the increasing use of fertility drugs and other procedures. With each passing year, a woman will be more likely to have to use fertility treatments to have a baby.
For me, I am glad that I had my kids in my 20’s. I find as I get older, I regress back to my ways and yearn to do what I like to do. I look forward to when my kids are gone in my late 40’s. I would not want to be an older mom. I can’t imagine having teenagers to raise in my 50’s or 60’s, just the time in life I want to be doing what I want to do. I would rather give up my youth and career so I can live to see my grandkids and spoil them rotten. What I was meant to do will always be there, despite my age and whether I have kids or not. Will I always be able to romp on the floor with my babies? Will I always have the energy that kids demand?
A popular reason to put off having children is finances. “I want to have money before I have kids so I can give them everything they want and deserve.” Statistically, a couple’s income increases as they age because they have more experience and demand more pay. Little kids don’t need much in life nor do they want much in life. While they are young, they have no concept of rich versus poor or peer pressure to have the best and new technical gadgets. All they care about is unwrapping the gifts and playing with their toys. If you have kids when you are young and less able to give to them, your income will grow as their needs and wants grow. Kids only know what they grow up with and nothing more.
Did anyone ever stop and think that maybe older women weren’t meant to be having kids? Why else would your eggs become less viable with age? Some may call me callous for saying so. However, there are legitimate cases to wait for having a baby. Increasingly in today’s society, women are not getting married until their 30’s instead of their 20’s as before. A solid marriage is a prerequisite in my book before having a baby. Extenuating circumstances for women can also be taken into account. However, being married for 10 years and then finally deciding to try for a baby is not a legitimate reason to wait.
Most women don’t even know if they can become pregnant until they try. By that time, it may be too late. Women today just take it for granted that they can become pregnant whenever they want. They are usually shocked when they find it difficult to conceive.
With each passing cycle of a woman in her 30’s, her hope of being a mom diminishes. Please don’t postpone your family for things that are material or relative in life. A baby will be with you forever. How many years will your Mercedes last you?
By: Jennifer Dionne. Her website is www.loveofparenting.com, a comprehensive view of pregnancy and parenting. She is a stay-at-home mom who is passionate about helping other moms through the challenges of motherhood. She is the author of “How to Have a Baby Your Way”, which is available through her website.