Mending A Broken Heart With Emotional Freedom Techniques

“Karen” found out that her husband had been cheating on her with a mutual "friend" for a couple of years. I had worked with her on her sadness during a mini-workshop a couple of months before, and she had gotten her sadness down to a 5/10 before we ran out of time. We were finally able to connect and to have a private EFT session, even though it had been almost six months since she initially found out that “Harry” had been having an affair. Since then she realized that Harry was no longer going to be a part of her life. He moved out, and took all of his possessions with him. He also told Karen that it was over with him and he wasn't coming back.

When I asked what she wanted to work on, she said sadness. Her SUDS level was an “8”, where a couple of months ago it was a “5”. She thought it had risen to an “8” because she can't see Harry anymore, and there was a part of her that still wanted to see him. As she put both hands over her heart, she vividly described a heavy, blue, stuck feeling in her chest.

The set-up phrases that we used were Even though I feel sad that:

Harry can't see me any more

Harry doesn't want to be with me

I am open to him hurting me

We did a couple of rounds of tapping and she said she felt more open. We then tapped on Even though I can't have Harry... and her SUDS level went to a “5”. She said she felt as though there was something pressing behind it all. I asked her what was under it, and she said it was the fear of being alone.

I asked her to think of a time, as far back as she could remember, when she felt afraid of being alone. She was surprised to remember when her dad left her mom when she was 3 or 4 years old. In thinking about that time when her dad left her mom, her SUDS level of her fear of being alone was an “8”.

After a couple of rounds of tapping she felt a release in her chest that brought her SUDS level to a “4”, and she remembered that there always is someone there. Two more rounds of tapping brought her SUDS to a “2” and she said that it made me more resilient. One more round brought it down to a “zero”, and she said that she felt strong.

We returned to the thought of I can't have Harry, and checked her SUDS level, which went from a “3” to a “2”, and then to a “zero”. Karen said that she felt calm.

I asked her if there was something else that she would like to clear, and she said that she was feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that she had to do, and that her SUDS level was a “9”. I asked how did she know, and she said that the back of her jaw was extremely tense. After a couple rounds of tapping, her SUDS went to a “3”, then to a “1” and finally to “zero”. Her jaw no longer felt tense, and she her feelings of being overwhelmed had disappeared.

Then Karen expressed that she was mad at Harry for lying to her for two years. Her SUDS level was at a “6” and I tried making jokes about Harry's behavior as we tapped and laughed. It took only a couple of rounds of tapping and Karen said that she no longer felt any anger at Harry, but now felt pity for him. We did some positive affirmations while she tapped:

I remember to breathe

I easily find my center

I remember the Goddess that I am

I experience the love that is deep within me

I remember love is always here now

Karen walked away looking like a weight had lifted off her being. She laughed and moved in a way that looked much lighter than when we had started—just one hour before.