The Esteemed Self

Throughout this article you are going to see references to the "esteemed self." I originated this term to build upon remembering the love, honor, respect, and grace of you. The esteemed self is simply a reflection "in words" of embracing all those parts of yourself you may have buried in conditional ways form misperceptions, dramas or traumas created throughout life. It also allows you to become increasingly aware of the importance of understanding the words you use when defining yourself, others, and your life. This course will ask you who you are going to be? An esteemed self, which lives responsibly and unconditionally what you love; thereby, creating freedom, health, happiness, ease, grace and abundance? Or, are you going to be the dishonored self living in the illusion by what you "think" others expect of you; thereby, creating disharmony, confusion, lack and illness?

Your esteemed self is the individual who cannot wait to get up in the morning to sing your song and dance your dance. The dishonored self wakes up dreading the day, denying the dance, and silencing the song. When being the esteemed self, you attract endless possibilities. You may not know this right now; it may even seem a little frightening to venture into the unknown, yet you are worth living what you love, so seize this opportunity. I was scared out of my tree that my esteemed self would not be accepted. I discovered what I was afraid of was not being accepted by others, it had to do with me not accepting myself through the reflection of others.

Throughout the evolution of humankind, The Word has held power. When we speak with the power of The Word without completely understanding the words we are using, we create unconscious internal confusion within our subconscious mind. To become unconditionally and responsibly aware of the messages we are reaffirming both into our outer reality and into our subconscious mind, it is necessary to first understand the meaning and the power behind the words we use. Additionally, effective communication, either with self or with others, centers on understanding word usage.

The example I want to use is the commonly used words to describe self, self-esteem. What really occurs when we use these words in this order most commonly used without a conscious awareness of their undertone? To understand the power behind the underlying meaning of what we project when we define self through self-esteem, I have chosen to use the most common form of defining those words, the American rendition of the English language, Webster's New World Dictionary. Webster defines the hyphenated word "self-esteem" as: 1. belief in oneself. 2. undue pride in oneself. Let us go a little deeper and define Webster's meaning of "undue." Undue, by Webster's definition, means 1. not appropriate, improper. 2. excessive, unreasonable. These dual definitions of one word (self-esteem) can bring about a conflict in our subconscious mind. Are we "dishonoring self" through undue pride or respecting self through belief in oneself?

If we speak we desire self-esteem and our inner belief system is repelled by anything excessive or improper, how can we outwardly attain what we unconsciously and inwardly repel? Again, by Webster's definition, if we state we have no or low self-esteem, what do we mean? Are we saying we have no belief in ourselves, or that we have high, improper pride? If we define self in terms of a duality definition, it becomes difficult to attain what is confusing in the subconscious mind. Indeed, any thoughts of duality continue conflicting internal messages. If one chooses to continue a separated and divided consciousness, choices are made to define oneself through words such as high and low -- High self-esteem or low self-esteem. If we choose to laminate self with these types of words in an effort to identify ourselves, to seek, to find, or to discover worth outside self, this continues the separation of self within confusion. In confusion, it is hard to remember that your worth comes from unconditionally and responsibly being yourself.

Your worth is NOT outside you in what you do; it is the simple elegance of you being all you can be by allowing yourself to be yourself. When you are living the love of you, then you are truly in a "loving act," expressing the Esteemed Self through the humility of service rather than an artificial sacrifice to service. In any artificial sacrifice to service, you forfeit your intention to share the honor of your love. To truly be in a loving act to serve, there must be no thought of serving, only doing what you love. If you are not doing what you love, and you think you are serving, this is a conditional act. Being the esteemed self, loving what you do, and sharing that with others, is unconditional. Thus, a truly loving act translates into living the gift of the Esteemed Self. The gift you came to share in service to others as you serve yourself completes a circle of oneness.

To truly know and embrace all the different parts of self which are the Esteemed Self, let us begin by taking responsibility to understand the words we use. Since this essay is about Self-Esteem, I will continue with Webster's definition of the word "self." Self: 1. the identity, character, etc., of any person or thing. 2. one's own person as distinct from all others. 3. one's own welfare or interest. Esteem: 1. to value highly; respect 2. to consider, favorable opinion.

After understanding the definition of these words, the simple choice of rearranging the words and placing "esteem" first and "self" second shifts the focus. Esteemed Self has a clear oneness focus by placing value and respect on one's own person. The act of respecting self though clear choices, clear knowing, and an unadulterated knowing allows us to be love. When our intent is clear, we dramatically expand spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Our conscious understanding of how we respond to life increases and deepens our awareness in our current relationship with all aspects of life. To masterfully go beyond your current comfort level, you must allow yourself to be unconditionally responsible for your experiences. Responsibility through honest unconditional communication of thoughts and feelings without judgment or blame on self or others allows the esteemed self to be.

Let us take this a step further by bringing into memory the universal truth I spoke of earlier, that we are all One. With this wisdom available to us, let us place it into working knowledge by choosing to focus on the value of respecting all the Reflected Selves of humankind through this unity with oneness. This type of focus creates compassionate understanding through the Esteemed Self expressed. Through honor, respect, and allowing love, we realize our existing wholeness. We remember that in truth, we are only self, spiraling outward as we expand our awareness to include all that exists as God/Man manifest. To know who we truly are, we choose experiences that unravel the mystery of self in the adventure of life. In each experience, we have a free will choice. We have the free will to choose oneness or duality (separation), conditional or unconditional.

The Esteemed Self continues to expand at your level of courage to be yourself. No right or wrong, no lesser or greater, it is what it is in the moment of your expression in the journey of the life you have chosen. You will continuously accomplish amazing things for yourself as you demonstrate happiness, fulfillment, and total ease in the love of the adventure of life, as your Esteemed Self becomes the mirrored reflection and inspiration to others to remember and share their own love. Although remembering, knowing and living this important element of an Esteemed Self is vital and supports returning to living and being one with love, as you grow in awareness you will remember more and more that, in truth, there is only self, there is only love. Be conscious of the choices you make when defining self. How do the words you use affect your outer and inner realities? Do they support you in loving yourself or do they create the opposite? Choose to become aware of your words.