Why are young children immune to the stress and anxiety of time pressure? Sure, they don't have a lot to do and they are not pressured by everyone around them to produce on a deadline. Consider the possibility that there is a more basic reason.
Time has not yet become the child's adversary. His/her relationship is still a positive one. When and why does this change? It changes when the child enters our world of being time controlled. "It's TIME to get up"; "It's TIME to go to school"; "It's TIME to eat"; "It's TIME to go to bed".
The context of time becomes increasingly negative and adversarial as we get older. Is it any wonder that, by the time we are adults, we view time as our enemy, a relentless, controlling force that we are helpless to control?
Some of us may have attended traditional time management seminars and/or read books on time management. All of these have good skills to teach and many useful tips on managing time. But seldom is there more than a few minutes or pages devoted to our relationship with time.
Consider the possibility that our relationship with time controls our life, and that all of the skills and tips in the world will not alter our basic negative attitude about time, nor relieve the constant stress and anxiety in our lives.
The good news is that we do have a choice. We can choose to have time as our enemy or as our partner. Partner? What a strange word to apply to time . . . or is it?
What are the qualities that define a good personal or business partnership? Some may be: Being compatible, comfortable, relaxed, and confident with each other.
Does this describe our current relationship with time? Should it? Can it? Yes, we can make it so, not with more technique, but with a shift in our basic paradigm about our relationship with time.
As we begin to accept time as a natural element, like air and water, we can start re-framing how we relate to it. We can stop demonizing time and start moving, first to a point of neutrality, and then to one of partnership with it.
This shift is not easy, nor does it occur immediately. But it is fundamental to a lasting change in our lives. If we want to permanently reduce the stress and anxiety of time pressure in our lives, we need to do something different than we have done before.
TIMEPARTNERING is the term that defines this quality relationship paradigm.
Does this mean that all we have to do is accept time as our partner and everything is fixed? No. Once the shift in our relationship occurs, learning and applying the traditional techniques, within the partnership context, are quite powerful.
We can begin to customize our skills to match our new relationship. We can choose to miss a meeting or appointment if not doing so would cause distress to us or damage a relationship with significant others in our lives.
Our goals and our commitments will begin to fall into sync with each other and bring us more peace and comfort.
Timothy L. Meeker is a Time Management Consultant and Trainer who has trained many managers and employees,in both the private and public sectors, in the powerful art of TIMEPARTERING. For more information he can be reached by e-mail at timepartner@earthlink.net.