Self-esteem is essential for psychological survival. It is an emotional sine qua non- without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.
One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. The problem of self-esteem is this human capacity for judgment. It’s one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes or sensations. But when you reject parts of yourself, you greatly damage the psychological structures that literally keep you alive.
Judging and rejecting yourself causes enormous turmoil. And in the same way that you would favor and protect a physical wound, you find yourself avoiding anything that might aggravate the pain of self- rejection in any way. You take fewer social, academic or career risks. You make it more difficult for yourself to meet people, interview for a job, or push hard for something where you might not succeed. You limit your ability to open yourself with others, express your sexuality, be the center of attention, hear criticism, ask for help or solve problems. (self-esteem Third Edition by McKay & Fanning)
Here are 3 tips to boost your self-esteem and confidence:
Armstrong Tip #1 – Shift Your Focus
Make a conscious effect to focus on what you know you do well and what you like about yourself as opposed to focusing on the negatives; what you don’t like about yourself and what you don’t believe you do as well. Make a list of your strengths and attributes on a post-it note and stick to your computer or bathroom mirror. Focus on this list at least twice a day.
Armstrong Tip #2 – Remove the word ‘Should’ from your Vocabulary
Do you often hear yourself saying things like “I should be thinner, I should be smarter, I should have more money, I should be married, I should this, I should that?” There’s no ‘should’ anything! The only thing you should be, is in-love your fabulous, authentic self. Get rid of all shoulds from your vocab. Imagine all your 'shoulds' being sucked out from your brain this very second! ‘Shoulds’ will only make you feel inadequate. They only serve to fuel your low self worth.
Armstrong Tip #3 – Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway
I’m sure you know of the book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. Well no greater piece of advice has ever been given. When you face your fears head on and you take the necessary action to move through your fears, your confidence automatically soars. Fear is just an illusion anyway. It’s something that you have mentally created inside your head. Fear isn’t real and the fastest way to know it’s not real is to face your fear head on. Choose one thing now that you are currently fearful of. Pick something small to begin with and then do like they say at Nike and “just do it!” You have the power!
Michelle Armstrong - http://www.ArmstrongMethod.com
Using the principles she teaches, Michelle went from being in an unsatisfying career, depression, frustration and $60,000 in the red, to a career she loves and is passionate about, and six figures in the black. A passion for helping others overcome the challenges she once struggled with, Michelle now teaches business professionals how they too can have a passionate and lucrative career they love by learning to increase their effectiveness.
Michelle is a powerful Business Effectiveness Coach and dynamic motivational speaker. She is the author of 'Manage Your Mind, Master Your Life’ and creator of The Armstrong Method™ –6 revolutionary steps to success. She is the founder of Mind Management LLC. http://www.ArmstrongMethod.com