A Twist on Goal Setting: Bare Minimums

Recently I asked my Self-Care e-newsletter readers to share what helps them "turn toward their truth." I've also called this 'minimum self-care requirements' in other issues. As a result, this is what I wrote today to be included in my upcoming book:

Between survival and a fully humming creative life lies the middle ground of minimum requirements for centering self-care -- a fancy way of saying what you absolutely must have to stay in touch with your center.

These minimums aren't flashy. It isn't about reaching for some fabulous dream or exploring a new passion. But, without these nurturing nuggets, nothing else can be sustained.

When you reach a certain stage of commitment to yourself, you find that you are more than willing to give whatever attention and energy is needed to sustain your basics. Which does not mean you won't stubbornly test this, of course. “Do I really need that much sleep?” “Do I really require exercise?” “Do I actually have to have a conversation with my friend about hurting my feelings?"

Yet when you reach a certain level of consciousness (and age!), if you neglect your basics, you notice the fallout a lot faster and you realize you have a lot less leeway to stray from what is essential to you.

As an example, take a look at which bare minimums are important to Self-Care reader, Lynn:

Daily:
- 8 hours of sleep each night, 1 nap on one weekend afternoon
- Time to myself in the morning before anyone else is awake
- Protein for breakfast
- Be near or touch plants and dirt or rocks and water: watch a river or take a bath or walk in rain or pay attention when drinking
- Be outdoors
- Have a time each day that all "have to's" stop -- for right now it is 8:00 PM

Weekly:
- Pay bills and balance checking account
- Date with my entire family doing something fun
- My women's group
- Kitchen desk organized and kitchen medium deep cleaned

Monthly:
- An afternoon alone doing whatever I want when I want to
- A date with my husband

Yearly:
- A spiritual retreat of some kind especially in nature
- Time with my extended family, especially my sisters

You may wonder why I ask you to state minimum requirements. Wouldn't it be far better to name your ideals and strive for those? My experience has been that when I kept a list of everything I wanted to do for myself -- or thought would be good for me -- I made commitments I was incapable of keeping.

I call this "raising the bar"...never being satisfied with what we do or experience. Therefore, we rarely feel nourished or experience contentment. We live more and more in a place of "not enough" and farther and farther away from our center and natural shape of our lives. Minimum requirements are the foundation of Self-Care. Of course, like the tide, requirements ebb and flow depending on life conditions and age. So, the next time you sit down to make your list of goals, start with your basic requirements first (rather than thinking they will just fit into your schedule without your conscious intent).