My father always told me, 'find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life'. - Jim Fox
Consider the Fox quote a starting point for your job or career search and ask yourself these questions:
How can I find work that both:
- gives me the feelings and experiences I most want to have?
- is lucrative and flexible enough to afford me a lifestyle I enjoy?
Are you rolling your eyes? Naive, or delusional, you say? I say this is the minimum you should expect, given that you probably spend at least one third of your life doing work or career-related activities. After all, this is your life, right? Ah, the costs of progress. Questions such as these are "coming out of the closet" like never before, started, I suspect, by those notorious baby boomers, that first generation well enough off to entertain such thoughts. If you have any doubts, ask the two questions above to anyone born prior to 1950 and listen to their reaction: "What do you mean 'love your job'/you want a say in how your job is done? How about just making sure you have a job, food on the table and a roof over your head?"
You have both the luxury, and the challenge, of having more options to choose from than any generation before you. You live in an "age of possibility" that seems, at times, to have raised your expectations to unrealistic levels. Never before have you had such educational, financial, and occupational opportunities. But chances are you've lost the seemingly simpler times your parents welcomed: steady work with the same company, complete with good benefits. And, unlike your parents, you will be forever "retooling" your knowledge and skills, in order to keep current with the needs of your job or industry.
Never before have you, as a lesbian, had the workplace protections available in many states and organizations, that you have today. But being open about your personal life on the job might still feel too big a risk for you to take, given an employer's market. And, it's hard to stop "hiding" when you've been doing so for years, even if you keep hearing about the career, health, and self esteem benefits of "coming out."
The bottom line is this: you have special concerns your parents couldn't have conceived of, if it's your goal to thrive (not just survive) in today's work environment. The world's economy is going through dramatic change, brought on by the interaction of forces such as globalization, rapid technological change, rising costs and severe budget deficits, security concerns (particularly since September 11, 2001) and higher-than-ever performance expectations for quality and quantity of work, accountability/ethical requirements, etc.
Whether you are currently an executive, employee, manager, student or business owner, you share, along with many other lesbian women, unique career and job-related challenges, and some which are universal to all, but could include a twist because you are a sexual minority. Over the course of the next ten articles, I will share ten of these challenges with you and explore strategies for turning them into golden opportunities.
SUCCESS STRATEGY #1: DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO U.S.P.?
The foundation for locating career opportunities that meet your preferences and requirements lies in defining yourself, or in determining what sets you apart in the marketplace. I call this creating your own "Unique Selling Proposition" (USP). You're probably familiar with the USP concept from advertising:
M&M's melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
We're number two. We try harder.
Fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less.
Your USP can be summed up in short, concise statements of what makes you different, special, best. Better yet, you know (and recall) a great USP when you see or hear it because it:
stands alone - is the only one of its kind, without an equal or equivalent; is unparalleled, unusual, extraordinary
appeals - attracts, persuades one to recognize the worth or desirability of something, advocates successfully, encourages one to pursue further/learn more
offers a benefit(s) - showcases (or alludes to) the potential rewards of owning/using
So, what is your USP? Do you know what is uniquely attractive about you in the eyes of the marketplace? You must get clear on your own USP to be able to identify and maximize 'compatible' opportunities when they come your way.
To help you define your own USP, simply complete the following two steps:
1. Know yourself - Answer the following questions as thoughtfully as you can. Designate a special notebook or journal for jotting down your thoughts:
What are you truly passionate about? Do you really know? Have you ever really thought about it? What's so important about this passion stuff? When you engage in activities that are 'an expression of you,' work feels more like play, and you are freed up to be creative and resourceful in "getting the job done." In addition, expressing your passion for the particular job or position you're applying for (or creating) is very appealing to employers or clients. They will pick up on your enthusiasm, and sense that you will honestly and strongly commit to helping them solve their concerns or problems.
What do you naturally excel at?
Because of your socialization, you may not be as attuned to this as the men you know. You may believe nurturing or taking care of others is your talent, but perhaps you stop there. In reality, it is likely that you have a much broader range of abilities such as working with numbers, writing well, performing medical research, making other people laugh, or remodeling cars, to name just a few. Perhaps you didn't have the support you needed growing up to really discover, develop, and value these traits/talents. But, it's never too late to get the support you need to do so!
What special skills and knowledge have you acquired/earned?
Really give credit where it's due. You've paid your dues, make sure you know what your skills are so you can articulate them. This is very useful in interviews or when you are networking with others who don't know you and what you can do. Also include on your list any unique skills and knowledge you have acquired simply by surviving as a sexual minority in a sometimes hostile, or indifferent, workplace and society. Yes - corporations now understand the value of diverse viewpoints in the planning, producing, selling and servicing processes, and so should you!
As you reflect upon the various job experiences you've had, what are your greatest accomplishments? What did you really enjoy about that last assignment? Be especially alert for discovering potential interests, strengths, contacts, etc. you hadn't realized when assessing why you were so successful in these different jobs. Consider how your success was encouraged or supported by the environment you were in, why it was so helpful as well as what you did that worked.
What 'buried treasures' lie beneath unpleasant experiences?
Consider every mistake you've ever made and experiences that didn't work for you, including any negative or traumatic personal and/or work-related experiences. Now, choose to see the "diamond in the rough." List the character strengths, wisdom, and skill(s) you've gained from any experience that, on the surface, appeared embarrassing, worthless or in any other way "bad" (examples of experiences could include events such as: getting fired from your last job, a negative performance evaluation, financial difficulties, loss/grief, disability/illness, etc.).
What are your blind spots or areas where you "aren't perfect yet"?
This is a hard one, but do it anyway! Save yourself future "wrong turns" by spending some time evaluating yourself with a 'third eye'. Everyone has blind spots. A coach can be very helpful to you on this one because 'you can't fix what you don't see'.
Ask others you admire and trust to share with you the passions, talents, character strengths, and blind spots they see in you. Those who have no "agendas" are the best to ask. This could include current or previous employers and supervisors, teachers, best friends, co-workers/colleagues, childhood friends/neighbors, or mentors.
2. Clarify Your USP - List the three to five major themes that emerge as you evaluate all of the information you've gathered. Then, write a clear and concise statement incorporating the themes.
Once your have a clear, concise statement, practice it until it's second nature. Then, see if you can expand it into a few sentences to use what is called an "elevator speech." Run your USP elevator speech past your support team and get feedback. If you're a business owner, use your USP on all your marketing materials. Remember, no one else can offer exactly what you do; so use this to your advantage! Also, keep in mind that you will continue to refine these statements as time passes and you gain new experiences and skills.
As an example, here is my current elevator speech and several of my USP statements:
Barb Elgin is an engaging, compassionate, bright and experienced coach, motivational speaker, writer, teacher and psychotherapist who inspires individuals, couples, families and organizations to find both success and deep satisfaction by embracing and cultivating their highest purpose. Barb specializes in emboldening...
mid-life lesbians seeking greater career success and personal happiness through living more authentically
lesbian women desiring a ‘one-stop place’ for connecting with other lesbian women and allies committed to a more satisfying personal and professional life
businesses committed to becoming ‘heart-centered’ while staying profitable and producing satisfying work environments for all staff
health care and other ‘helping’ professionals experiencing 'compassion fatigue' or career dissatisfaction
behavioral health care professionals seeking high quality, yet convenient and affordable continuing education
anyone ready to take back one's time/life by simplifying (reducing one’s dependence on hyper-consumption and materialism)
lesbian couples seeking pre-committment coaching and ongoing relationship enhancement
single lesbian women seeking compatible life partners
people seeking a satisfying, nonjudgmental, nondenominational and convenient spiritual practice and community
mid-life professionals who are rejuvenating or re-creating their careers
women with auto immune disorders who want to live full and inspiring lives
lesbian women and lesbian couples preparing and transitioning into retirement and beyond
people who wish they had more time to do the things they really want to do
coaches seeking risk management and ideas for marketing coaching to (and collaborating with) mental health professionals
anyone seeking structure for medically-supervised behavior change (ex: smoking cessation, exercise, strength training to prevent injury, stress management)
"married but lesbian" women who are "awakening"
Stay tuned for my next article in which I will reveal success strategy number two.
- Barb Elgin
Additional Resources:
Web sites
Career and Job-Hunting Tests and Quizzes for Job-Seekers http://www.quintcareers.com/test.html
University of Maryland - Career Development Resources
http://www.careercenter.umd.edu/crws/explore5.htm
Career Resources for Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Students at Tufts University
http://careers.tufts.edu/Student/Diversity/LGBT.html
Can You Change Your Career After 40?
http://www.careercc.com/after40.shtml
Career Change and the Seasoned Worker
http://editorial.careers.msn.com/articles/seasoned/
Free MAPP Assessment - 71 question test, sample report, suggested jobs that fit you
http://www.assessment.com/custom/google/default.asp?Accnum=06-5210-000.00
Books
The Career Guide for Creative and Unconventional People by Carol Eikleberry and Richard Nelson Bolles.
Lavender Road to Success: The Career Guide for the Gay Community by Kirk Snyder.
Make a Name for Yourself: Eight Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success by Robin Fisher Roffer.
Career and Life Planning with Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Persons by Susan Gelberg, Joseph T. Chojnacki.
Copyright 2003, BE A Success Enterprises, LLC, all rights reserved. Barb Elgin is the President and Founder of BE A Success Enterprises, LLC, an organization offering life coaching, psychotherapy, consulting, writing and training and education services, which you can visit on the world wide web at http://www.barbelgin.com.