Our ten steps contain the 10 vital capacities that lead to self-control Yes, self control; a basic and vital human capacity. We have found that self-control is the foundation of emotional intelligence. These 10 steps will lead you and your child to this empowering ability.
Emotional Intelligence is an ability that has been widely discussed and it is considered to be the more important than academic intelligence. That is because emotional intelligence is the amazing ability to understand and control our emotions in the face of challenges, changes and crises. One way to appreciate this ability is this; before you can use your intelligent mind to solve problems you must have some control over your fluctuating emotions, some ability to balance yourself emotionally and use problem solving skills. This is the heart of emotional intelligence. We all know people who have this capacity. These people tend to have long-term success in their work and personal relationships when others around them explode or implode. Such individuals who maintain their emotional balance look so natural when they do it. It seems to be instinctive. It is not. Emotional intelligence is a mature ability and it takes time and practice for this ability to become part of the human psyche.
We have discovered how emotional intelligence develops from the earliest age possible and from its roots in self-control. Our 10 steps trace the development of self-control abilities; the keys to emotional intelligence.
A great deal of this development occurs in the first three years, well before your child must face the harsh realities and sweet temptations of the outside world. Yes, it happens this early. A child needs the skills of self-control in order to succeed in life.
There are, of course, many factors that come into play as a child matures and learns the skills of emotional intelligence. But self-control is clearly the earliest and the most important. It is thus the focus of our book. Self-control is not inborn and is greatly influenced by the child’s experiences with parents. We have focused on how and when to teach the basic emotional lessons that will empower your child with self-control and emotional intelligence.
So we share this information with you. Even if you have to go backwards through the steps with older youngster who is in trouble you will find this book helpful.
Please use our information as a guide and not as a ruler for measuring your child’s capacities and your own. Keep in mind that children develop at individually unique rates and achieve goals at different times. As we present our 10 Steps, don’t worry if your child does not learn them as fast as you would like. We are embarking on a life-long process that is as unique as your child is!
The book is Developing Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence © 2003 by Margaret Altman, R. Reyes and A. Bitton. It is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The Author’s website is www.deveq.com
Margaret Altman is a licensed therapist and author of Developing Your Child's Emotional Intelligence as well as numerous columns and articles on that subject.