Yes, I know. You've heard it before. You can't love someone and you can't accept true love in your life unless you love yourself first. It does not apply to you, you say. You already love yourself.
Well, do you? Or do you secretly fear that you will not be loved the way you want because you fear you are not good enough? What percentage of the time are you being yourself? How often do you try to impress others? You know how you do it. Maybe you agree when you want to say no. Maybe you overdo the "casual lunch" and end up slaving or going over budget. Or you don't give your opinion for fear it will displease, or you fear you are not bright enough. Or you try to appear cool or sexy while you are yearning to just be. Or you show off who you know or use designer labels or anything else in the hope that others will like you or accept you. Or maybe you settle in life. Settle for a boring job, or settle for an unsatisfying relationship because you fear you can't get anything better.
As you can see, loving yourself has nothing to do with comparing yourself or thinking that you are better because you are prettier or more educated or have more money or any other outside factor. Any time you compare, you are in fear.
Loving yourself means accepting yourself. Unconditional acceptance for yourself. Now. It means accepting your body, your looks, your family background. It does not mean that you can't make changes to look good or to get a better job. It simply means that you know that independently of what you have or don't have, you are perfectly fine. It means accepting the you who has made mistakes, or the you who is not perfect. Once you totally accept yourself, you will be in a better place to choose what you want to change in your life. And once you accept yourself, you will not feel the need to impress others with what you are not. This in turn will change the way you relate to others and will attract people who are also being real. Imagine the freedom and the possibilities. So go out and practice being your wonderful self.
Marguerite has worked for over 15 years in the field of personal development. A graduate of Coach University, she is now a Fearless Living Coach, presently working toward the designation of Certified Fearless Living Coach and learning to master her own fears. She coaches professionals who want to move from fear to freedom in their personal and professional lives. She coaches by phone anywhere in Canada or the continental U.S.A. Visit her website: www.canadascoach.com.