When Faith Seems So Far Away

Recently, I was asked to minister on Faith at the Women’s Ministry at my church. When I began to prepare my notes, I started brainstorming on what personal testimonies I wanted to share that would go in-line with the topic. Two years ago, I would have been shy at the thought of sharing personal stories. But knowing who I am today, I can freely speak on matters that were hurtful, confusing, and degrading without getting upset. Many years ago, I was unable to think let alone speak on many things from my past because of the emotional distress that it caused. I decided to take a leap of faith and speak freely, boldly, and confidently on any topic pertaining to my life.

I’m a living witness as to what faith has done for my life. Let me explain….

Last year, I was having a challenging time at my job. I was overlooked for a promotion and two months after promotions were announced I was overlooked again for a leadership position within my group. Clearly, I was disappointed as I should be (I’m sure some of you have experienced the same). But one thing I’ve adapted to do in my life is pray about EVERYTHING! Asking God for guidance is the only assurance I needed – and I did. What God proposed for me to do was be patient and have faith. Well, as many of us may already know that it’s easier said than done. However, I knew this was God’s test for me and I did not want to fail.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
~Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

It was shortly after, that God revealed that he had other plans for me in another area of the company. Throughout my years with the company, I’ve had the opportunity to build great professional relationships in other areas of the company and I knew this would be a wonderful opportunity to communicate with some of my contacts. Several months later, I received a phone call from a Vice President in the Technology department. He asked if I was interested in a position in his area and of course, I obliged. A few days later I interviewed over the phone with another VP in his department and a week after that interview the Director from the department traveled from New York to the Delaware office to interview me as well. The Director informed me that he would be out of town on business and would contact me when he returns. In less than two weeks, I heard back from him and an offer was made for the position. The amazing part of it all was that I did not have to go through the normal protocols of posting for the position. One simple phone call made it all happen and I did not have to fill out an internal posting for the position. If anyone understands what ‘faith’ really is and the blessings you can receive in your life when you live in faith - this is a perfect testimony of it!

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. ~ Romans 3:22 (NLT)

Just as my career was headed in a better direction, my personal life was being challenged. After several years of being in an unhealthy marriage, counseling at my church and many prayers God finally saw I had enough and guided me in starting the separation process of my marriage. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task but it was the right thing to do. The situation became chaotic and there was no peace. I was instructed by one of the assistant Pastors at my church to stay in prayer which included praying for my ex-husband – something I was totally against. If anyone knew half of what I went through with him, it would be easier to understand. But I wanted to remain obedient and follow through on God’s instructions.

I have often seen friends, family and colleagues go through some pretty messy divorces. And regardless of what led to this decision for me, I didn’t want us to be another couple going through a bitter divorce that may lead to negative results. It was important for me to ensure that we went through a peaceful divorce and remain in good standing for the sake of my stepsons. The truth is that we were both good people who were not good together. In the beginning, there were many days I dreaded the idea of going home. But I continued to keep my head up and ignore any negativity that came my way. Even when my faith was being tested, I continued to be faithful, obedient and patient. The truth is….faith is all I had to get me through. Although, I could not see the plans that God had ahead for me but I knew in my heart his plans were good – indeed they were! Each time I prayed God for guidance in my situation, he answered my prayers by showing me. I’m a visual person and I often need to see things come to pass in order to better understand it. And can I tell you that each time I prayed about my circumstances, he would send me a revelation that was powerful. It wasn’t long before I’d see the answers to my prayers.

For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. 24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
~Mark 11:23-24 (NKJV)

After one and a half year of being separated, it finally sunk in for the both of us. We both stayed focused on finalizing things in a much smoother capacity. There was no animosity or bitterness between us. We were both able to move forward with our lives and remain friends. It wasn’t easy but faith is what got me through it all. I share my personal experience to encourage anyone that when you pray and ask God to be the light in your life when everything seems so dark – he will show you the way. You must stay in prayer, believe and trust in Him. But most importantly, have Faith!