As a spiritual coach, my job is to show clients how cause and effect plays into their life. Many people do not understand that their actions or lack of action can create an ongoing cycle of the same situation repeating over and over until it is dealt with. People often believe that they can just avoid a situation that they do not like and some how the problem will go away.
One of the hardest things for a person to do is to confront someone that they feel has hurt them. Many people fear confrontation when there is a need to confront a love one because they are still looking for approval from that person. They are believing that playing nice will win the person over. The problem is that the person they are hurt by may not even know they have hurt the person.
Excuses that people use to avoid confrontation
1. They are spiritual and loving. Loving people don't feel the need to confront others because they are living in a higher state of enlightenment. Sounds funny but I have heard this over and over throughout the years form people.
2. They are taking the high road. Why? Taking the high road does not mean avoiding your feelings. Acknowledging your emotions does not make you a trouble maker.
3. Still wanting validation and acceptance.
4. Wanting to be thought of as a peace maker. Many peace makers are secretly miserable. Biting one's tongue hurts like hell.
5. They are not sweating the small stuff. Your feelings are not small.
The consequences of not confronting a person that your feel hurt by will leave you an emotional prisoner until you do confront them. I hear it all the time from friends and clients that they have not confronted the person who has lied to them, abused them, cheated on them,etc. I know that often people try to bury their pain so they try to push down their emotions. The problem is that the person will never trust, feel peace or be happy until they do heal their issue of pain. Many people will go on to have trouble in their future relationships that resemble their issues of pain because the universe will keep bringing the issue to them until they face it.
So many people will say that all of their relationships are the same. They keep attracting the same type of person. Then they assume that all people are bad, will hurt them or not trustworthy. The truth is that they are the common denominator attracting these people over and over until they heal their pain. Every single time we attract the same type of personality, we are given a blessed opportunity to heal our life by healing that situation that is holding us back from being our best person
There is no way around pain. We have to go through the pain by feeling it, validating it, confronting it and then healing it. Find the courage to confront that person who has hurt you. Then forgive them, forgive the situation and move forward. You can't move forward until you do confront them.
Dr. Donna Lee is a professional intuitive life coach. Her goal is to assist her clients on their spiritual life journey and to heal painful issues. She is the author of the ebook " The Spirituality Trap "