Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do. Or what you are doing is wrong. You should have guessed it by now that this is about what not to do to enhance your life.
Do not jump to conclusions: Jumping to conclusions tends to make you think you know what is going on and act according to that, believing you know what is best. Now I know this from experience that it feels good; thinking you know everything. But here is the shocker: I did not understand. Most of us do not understand. So instead of jumping to conclusions we should just wait and let things run their course. Things do unravel at the end and you will understand it all. Be patient.
Do not dramatize: People like soap operas but only on television. Do not make mountains out of molehills. Do not exaggerate. It might gain you sympathy but also creates the will to give up in you. If something happens, learn from it. If you fail once, try again. Fail again, try again. Do not give up and dramatize it so that others would give up too. It is destructive.
Inventing rules: You try to feel safe by telling yourself that you know what you "should" and "ought to" be doing. Well, here is the catch, life is unexpected. There is no manual on how to live life. Something that worked for one person may not work for you. Take chances. Make mistakes. Take risks. Honor what is called life.
Stereo typing or labeling: avoid these as much as possible. Explore for yourself the people or the situations. See it with your eyes and not with somebody's life. Stereo typing leads to negative thinking which is injustice to you and to the people that are being stereo typed.
Do not be a perfectionist: nobody is perfect. Life is not perfect. But when you want to become perfect, when you want to make your life perfect, you miss out on the small things that matter. Everything else looks worse than it really is and you never find something that is perfect. There are ups and downs everywhere. A perfect job, a perfect relationship are myths of the modern world. Being a perfectionist will not get you anywhere.
Do not over-generalize: A failure or a couple of set-backs does not mean you are a failure. A success or two does not mean you are done learning and working. Do not generalize. Never give up and keep learning.
Do not take things personally at all: in this busy world don't expect people to care about you or to understand you. Only a few relations will last and the rest will fade. Only a few people will understand you. If other people do understand you then it is good for you. If they do not, then do not take it personally. Even the set-backs and as I like to call them the get-backs of life are not personal. Do not let them be.
Do not trust your emotions: the future does not change if you feel bad. If you have a good feeling about something, there is a good chance that you just want to have a good feeling about it. Since you want to do it, you generate a good feeling about it. Be reasonable. Take calculated risks when lives other than yours are affected by your decisions.
Do not be pessimistic: there is always an upside to everything. Everything happens for a reason. It happens for the best. You make a mistake? You learn from it and it helps you in future. Life throws you down? You strive to get back up and learn a lot about character on the way. Be optimistic. There is always something positive to look to.
Do not let the past rule your present and in turn your future: learn to let go. Do not hang on to stuff. It is said that, "if life takes something from you, it is to replace it with something better". Do not let the past dampen your spirits. It will, for some time of course, but don't give it more time than you should. Become stronger day by day. Let a little go day by day.
Get rid of these destructive habits and you will see the difference yourself. And of course it is not a one day job, it will take some time, but if you accomplish it, you will be happy.
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