Deep thoughts well-up within me and I forced myself to believe it must be true. I thought there is nobody in life who could possibly be ugly. I like watching Ugly Betty, it makes me laugh because it reminds me of the fact that of a truth nobody is truly ugly. Particularly women, please, there is no woman under the Sun that is really ugly. She can’t be too ugly for sex in the dark? Yeah, every man knows that.
Just joking. People can be ugly, if they choose to be. Ugliness is a thing of the mind; it’s in your mind. When your mind grabs it, your body will. Nobody ever becomes ugly if there is anything like that, without first accepting that she is ugly. The mirror tells you nothing; you only see a reflection of what your mind believes in the mirror. Mirrors only reflect what’s on our minds. If the mind believes the body is ugly that’s final.
It is OK to have little doubts about how we look, every woman do have these doubts. Yeah, even Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, all those beauty icons, all off them, they do once in a while have what we call seasoning moments and bogging questions moments. There are times, when you just sit there and admire what you have. It might not be something others have, but believe me there is something in you, you can sit over and enjoy the fact that you have it. And there are some other times when you just sit there and question yourself; you ask yourself some bogging questions that make you feel like sheet.
Everybody have those moments. Try and ask a beauty queen like Hallie Berry and if she will confide in you, she will tell you there are times she wishes she wasn’t blessed with fleshy beauty at all. But what made her beauty queen almost half of her young life is simply the fact that she chose to dwell more on the seasoning moments than the paralysing bogging questions moments. Beauty queens became queens not because they are beautiful but because they think they are beautiful. It is your thought that influences others to think likewise not your turf.
Anyone that dwells in seasoning moment, speaking confidence into the mirror will be surprise how she will sparkle like gold without the aid of any artificial supports. It is a natural law, appreciate what you have and you will not depreciate. We may not have what we admire in another but we must be confident that we have what others want, at least one or two. Whether you know it or not there is something in you, some people wish they had. Come on, start appreciating what you have and it will appreciate in your physical body. Quit sitting around having pity parties, you are better than you think. Make your thinking right and your body will be right.
You still think you have nothing? Consider the lepers. I believe you are not leprous, even if you are, some leprous have made history in the past. What stops you from being a leper; you are not better than that leper out there, are you? You could have been her you know but you are not. However lepers can be beautiful if they can only show pure courage which exudes from self-confidence buried within them. If you ever read the history of Israel you wouldn’t miss the story of the four biblical lepers who crested their names in the history of Israel by just a show of confidence and courage.
Have you ever thought of those who are blind? Consider the likes of Ray Charles and Helen Keller; our generation has something to write about them not because they were gifted but because they were courageous and confident in what they have and who they are. What you have is far bigger than what you know. Nobody can make you cheap without your consent. Nobody can make you ugly without your consent. You are what you think. And what you think is what you will become.
If you can access your body very well you have more than enough to make you what you want to be. Your smile alone can attract your knight. Consider your abundance. Go to the mirror of the feast only you can make for yourself, a feast of confidence. Pick that thing that is in you that you can appreciate. Expand on it, emphasize on it. It is what you are, what made you unique. Believe it, you are not ugly, you are only unique.
Words, just words are the reason you think you are ugly, you are not. Those words thrown at you, in high school, from mother, dad, ex-boyfriends etc. They were wrong; they only envy what you have. You are just the best there could be in your own uniqueness. That your long, short or fat legs can be what you dream, just appreciate it. So goes the rest of your body. Ask those pretty ones that you admire. They will tell you two things; one, they weren’t always like that, changes occurred. And two, they still secretly wish they were something else. What changed them to what they are now is the past they appreciated while looking unto the future they desired.
Get a good body image of yourself and stick to it. Everybody is beautiful; it is all about the mind. It is not that you can be beautiful, you are already beautiful just as you are, all you need is a paradigm shift … a change of mindset. It is not make-up you need, it is mind-up you need. If you think you aren’t beautiful, no matter the make-up, you would never feel beautiful. You can go and do plastic surgery if you like, you will still feel miserable. The feelings matters, get the feelings, fill your mind with beautiful things about yourself and your body will be beautiful.
A beautiful attitude makes a beautiful body. I have seen very beautiful bodies, fine face, cute shape but without real touch of beauty. All you need is mind surgery not face surgery. Go stick a picture you deeply admire on your bathroom or dressing mirror. Look at it every time you bathe or dress and convince yourself that you look that way. It is not mind-game, it is real, in no time you will be what you admire.
AUSTIN IMORU is the founder/facilitator of Sisters House of Esteem [SHE], an NGO, educating and redirecting young ladies, operational from Edo State of Nigeria. Austin had his first degree at the most sorted after University in Nigeria, the University of Benin, where he studied English and Literature. He had his Certification in Professional Coaching (CPC), Certificate in Small Business Management and Certificate in Management & Leadership. He is a research writer cum public speaker. He is passionate about helping people get what they want out of life.