Coping with infidelity can be a daunting task, but it can be done if you avoid the common mistakes. There are ways that couples can repair the damage caused by the affair. These methods can strengthen the bond between you and your spouse, improving your marriage in ways that might not have existed before he or she strayed.
You may experience many emotions when you find out that your partner has been cheating on you. Your first reaction may be to tell your friends and family; however, this can risk hurting both of you when they start spreading gossip and rumors and casting judgment. You should also avoid blaming each other because the only thing this does is cause more anger and resentment.
The best thing to do is to remain calm and tell your partner how you feel about this announcement. Although the emotions will be high, it is important to listen and refrain from attacking so that you can find out why this happened. There may be several reasons, and he or she may feel remorseful for what happened.
The next step involves being present when your spouse contacts the third party to end the relationship. Contact should be made by email to avoid any arguments or pleas from the lover. Once the email is sent, your partner needs to relinquish the usernames and passwords for any online accounts that he or she has, as well as credit card and bank statements. This will prove to you that he or she is remorseful and willing to cooperate with you to save your marriage.
Buy books concerning extramarital affairs and forgiveness and read them when you are ready. There are many books that can help you work through the pain, and the steps needed to repair your marriage. Write down any questions that you may have about the affair and prepare yourself before you start asking these questions.
Start shopping around for a good marriage counselor who will work with your budget and schedule. A good therapist can give you the tools to communicate better so that both of you can work through your emotional difficulties as well as improve different aspects of your relationship. Therapy sessions may take place over the course of a year, possibly longer, until you and your spouse feel comfortable that you have resolved your problems.
In addition to coping with infidelity, practicing these methods can help you rebuild your relationship so that its stronger than before the infidelity.
When you are coping with infidelity it can be tough. We suggest the two of you going to a couples therapist to try to get past it.