Personal Safety, Security and Martial Arts - Can You Be More Fluid & Dynamic?

To be more fearless and confident in difficult or dangerous situations, you have to learn personal safety skills. You need to be knowledgeable about what resources to access in emergencies, and you should know how to assess and confront danger both physically and mentally.

The truth is, however, that the power to preserve your safety and security comes with great responsibility, and must only be used as a last resort. The good news is that if you know the skills to protect yourself, they will show in the way you interact with the rest of the world, which will help you avoid unwanted aggression.

When in a potentially dangerous situation, sometimes it’s better to walk away instead of trying to teach a lesson to your opponent.

Martial arts training and gym time help to make it believable that you can defend yourself, even without the need to take action. It’s a first line of defense before things have to get physical. That, or walking away, can help you avoid serious trouble.

Walking away from something that bothers you can be difficult. What happened to me once when I was driving was that I stole the right of way from a pedestrian and made my turn just before the pedestrian was at the crosswalk. Although I signed “I’m sorry” with my hand, which he might not have seen, the pedestrian was angry and hit the back of my car as I completed the turn.

When I got out of my car and asked him why he hit my car, he was calm and claimed I almost ran him over (which was an exaggeration), but I knew I was technically at fault (pedestrians always have the right of way).

When he saw that I wasn’t going to attack, he turned and walked away as the better and bigger man.

Through this event, I learned:

- It’s good to breathe/puff up and show readiness to defend/attack (the man). However, this quick act exposes a weakness by not looking always ready (the man wasn’t prepared for confrontation after initiating one – at 10pm on an empty street).
- Walking away (the man) was good after puffing up and testing the individual (me), but he shouldn’t have turned his back on me – that was technically a risky thing to do.
- Bottom line, I must keep calm and be even more careful not to do to others what I don’t like to be done to me (to the best of my abilities).

Besides walking away, calming down the situation with words is also useful. The man in the above scenario didn’t actually defuse the situation by walking away, which left me “unsatisfied.” A better solution would’ve been to say: “that was my mistake, I’m sorry” - which would’ve made my ego happy and suppressed the heat.

Calming down the situation works on 99% of aggressors if it sounds genuine, but don’t turn your back on the aggressor when walking away. You can’t completely trust them.

During my self-growth, I’ve learned that it’s important to work with the ego. You need to feed it positive knowledge, images, phrases, affirmations, beliefs, and ideas.

Acknowledge successes and learn from mistakes.
When walking away or defusing the situation doesn’t work, we need to turn to fighting styles such as martial arts. Martial arts are divided into many categories or a number of axes: Chinese vs. Japanese vs. Korean, Asian vs. European vs. American, striking vs. grappling, hard vs. soft, internal vs. external, and more.

External martial artists use force against force. For example, they perform a block by tensing the muscle at impact to absorb the shock and transfer the damage to their opponent.

Internal martial arts focus on the martial artists internal attributes. These include focus, timing, awareness, and precision of technique.

Here is a list of various martial arts styles and their primary focus:

Striking/Standup: Boxing, Karate, Krav Maga, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do, Kickboxing

Grappling/Ground: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Russian Sambo, Shootfighting, Wrestling

Throwing/Takedown: Aikido, Judo, Hapkido, Shuai Jiao

Weapons: Kali, Iado, Kendo

Low-impact: Tai Chi, Ba Gua, Chi Gong based styles

Defense: American Kenpo Karate, Hapkido, Aikido, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Ninjutsu, Muay Thai

A person that knows these arts has mastery of technique. They know how to use their bodies for maximum efficiency, and they’re fluid and dynamic.

When choosing a school or instructor, you should be looking for instructors that are qualified and supportive. When looking for a school, call the ones that interest you, check the teacher’s qualifications, watch the instructor, and buy on your own terms.

By calling the schools, you can find out class times and attend a few to get a feel for the environment.
When looking at a teacher’s qualifications, you should consider who taught this person, how long he/she studied with this person, how long he/she has practiced this art, and whether the instructor has any real experience as a teacher.

Watch the instructor to learn their teaching style. Does he/she berate the students or encourage them? Do the students fear their instructor, or are they comfortable with him/her? Does the instructor have a huge ego, or is the instructor humble?

Having high quality, positive lessons are the best in the long run.

Lastly, when considering a school, don’t give in to high-pressure sales tactics for schools. Make the decision at your own pace and comfort level.

To be safe, secure, and confident, you need to practice restraint, learn to walk away, learn to defuse a situation, and know how to physically defend yourself when all else fails. Further, don’t be afraid to feed your ego positive affirmations as a way of boosting your internal confidence.