Sometimes we must realize that certain people aren’t worth our time or effort. They may be egomaniacal or malicious in their willful choice to negatively impact others, but if we decide to address or deal with them in any kind of rational way it can eventually become nothing more than an exercise in futility.
Many of us are, by our very nature, good people. We care about how others feel, put ourselves in others’ shoes and try to live the best, most respectable lives we can so we are able to look ourselves in the mirror with little regret. However, there are those who place themselves and their own needs in first, second and, hell, all places before anyone else, except possibly for their nearest and dearest. This is where the self-perpetuated lies begin.
Any or all of the following can apply to these valueless people. They believe they’re the best person to make any decision. They believe only they know right from wrong. They believe others who don’t focus on them and their needs are self-centered. They believe they don’t make mistakes. They believe they’re better than anyone or everyone else. All in all, they’re their own biggest fans and the good-natured people around them become nothing more than patsies to be used to serve this self-centered agenda.
If you happen to fall into the crosshairs of these fruitless individuals, I propose a few possible solutions. If they’re your friend, make it end. If they’re your significant other, find another. If they’re your spouse, tell them they’re a louse. If they’re your kin, don’t take it on the chin. If they’re your boss, press charges or changes jobs – it’s no loss. Any of these situations can become toxic to you and the best thing you can do is vaccinate yourself.
Why bother with anyone who can’t bother with anyone else but themselves? You won’t gain any ground if you don’t hold them accountable or distance yourself. If you remain around these negative people it can only result in bad blood, depression, assassination of your character, fights and/or violations of your good nature.
Now, I do believe it’s important to be an example to these people and your presence can possibly serve to change how they approach others. However, this is no guarantee and, at some point, you must be willing to draw a line before they become unhealthy for you. Otherwise, your only benefit will be learning from your mistake.
Even if you can only say it to yourself, say, “You aren’t better than me.” That doesn’t mean you think you’re better than them – it just means you respect yourself too much to allow them to continue to disrespect you. Your positivity provides too much value to your own health and to the edification of those around you. Don’t let these fruitless individuals take that away from you or anyone else who will inevitably benefit from your presence in their lives.
Learn to Shine Your Light is led by Eve Rojas, MSSW, who shares her personal experiences and know-how to provide an enlightening perspective on how to approach life successfully.
Eve went through a deeply disturbing experience in her life that caused a major depression. Strengthened by her experience, she believes completely that we each have power within us that exists beyond life’s trauma and stress. Eve shares the knowledge and skills she continues to develop each day to provide tools to help you learn to shine your light and claim your inner strength so you can better manage life’s ups and downs.
Eve relies on discernment and faith to follow the path in front of her and touch the souls of others. She possesses a Master of Science in Social Work with expertise in Social Enterprise Management from Columbia University. Eve also graduated with honors from Yale University.