The Issue Of Child Possession Among Muslim Parents In Light Of Quran, Hadith, And Scholarly Consent

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)

This is a magnificent verse from Holy Quran that signifies the importance of the bond referred as “marriage”, clarifying the concept of family and social life as far as Islamic perspective is considered. In fact, the love, mercy, and tranquility between couples are referred as “signs” or symbols from Allah Almighty of His exalted graciousness towards human beings.

This is just one example from the teachings of Holy Qur’an, focusing greatly on a just, pious, and peaceful married life. There are many more verses that convey the same message towards marriage, such as:

At-Taubah [9:71] The Believers men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.

However, unfortunately, not all marriages are able to withstand the tests of time and hardships, and many couples end up on divorce. Since Islam is a religion that offers code of conduct for all situations of life; in this matter also, there are instructions about settling the dispute that arises between couples on matter of custody of children. Different situations are discussed here according to Quran education and hadith in this regard, as asserted by different scholarly figures.

Firstly:

The first thing in this regard pertains to a general scholarly consensus that mother is entitled more than a father as long as the children come of age, as cleared from the following hadith:

‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrates, according to which a woman said: O Messenger of Allaah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” Narrated by Ahmad (6707) and Abu Dawood (2276

This hadith clarifies mother’s entitlement to child possession in case of a divorce, unless she remarries, as the responsibilities of her new life would hinder her do so significantly.

Secondly:

Scholarly consent also asserts that maintenance of children is assigned to father, irrespective of the fact that he stays with his wife or leaves her for a divorce, also irrespective of whether the wife is financially capable or not.

Thirdly:

As far custody of children with father is concerned, it pertains to taking care of the interest of the children more than anything else. A scholarly consensus in this regard sates:

Rawdat al-Taalibeen (9/98). What is meant is taking care of the small child and looking after him. So the main issue of custody is taking care of the interests of the child. Hence if the father refuses to undertake this duty towards the child, which includes maintenance, then he is sinning, and forfeits his right to custody.

Conclusion

As mentioned earlier, the basic idea is of guarding the sacred relationship of lawful marriage, as far as Islamic teachings are concerned:

Al-Furqan [25:74] And those who pray "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

However, if under any circumstances, a married couple fails to sustain a lifelong relationship, matters following that (i.e. regarding child custody) should be dealt in accordance with the teachings of Qur’an and hadith.