A wonderful way to connect with your partner when you first meet after a long day is a simple tantric hug. This is a gentle, yet effective, way to tune your energies by simply placing your bodies together. When you’re in closer energetic harmony, then it is easier to move to greater intimacy or you may just allow the loving touch to be a renewing contact. Too often we don’t express affection because we may not be “up” for more. Allow each gesture and each moment to simply be a stand-alone event. This allows for greater freedom to be affectionate without an obligation to create anything more in that moment.
The technique can be described as follows:
Invite your partner into an embrace
Each of you stands with your weight on your own feet
Be in stillness
You should each primarily feel of yourself (this is very important)
Give yourself time to relax into your own body. Feel like “I am home in my own space”
Look for your own depth of feeling
Tune in to your purpose in this moment
Breathe slowly, deeply and easily
Match your breathing with your partner’s breath
Allow yourself to just be
You will find that both of your energies and feelings shift by simply putting your bodies together and being centered and still.
More thoughts on togetherness
Too often it is easy to energetically “over-give” or to get into your partner’s energetic space without realizing it. Remaining grounded and maintaining appropriate space in your togetherness provides the other person an invitation for authentic movement. I must first be connected with myself in order to really be present for her. It is my steady presence that my beloved desires most.
Share the space between you rather than occupying it all yourself. Over-merging reduces sexual charge. You don’t want to surround yourself with a thick emotional wall at one extreme, but “giving your all” while holding nothing back for yourself is also dysfunctional. And neither state is attractive to an awakened partner. I give her the best of me when I rest in the center of my heart and allow divine love to shine through me.
In tantra we talk about “conscious touch”. This is to put your attention at your hands and being fully present and aware of the impact / effect of your touch. Touching should never be to “take” (like “copping a feel”) but the intent should be “I am giving to you” and it should feel like a sweet gift by the receiver.
Releasing attachments is a helpful practice to honor each person’s sovereign space. You may simply gaze in each other’s eyes when parting and hold the intentions with these words as you declare out loud:
I honor you
I bless you
I release you
The author, Corey, is a Certified Tantra Educator and Intimacy Coach. He teaches workshops and offers private coaching sessions in person and by phone/Skype. He lives in San Diego, CA and welcomes invitations to teach in other communities. Subscribe to his blogs at www.tantracore.wordpress.com and www.corerelationship.com - Resources for creating a conscious intimate life and embracing emotional and sexual intimacy in Sacred Relationship.