Please feel free to forward to the powerful women in your life. This came through in a meditation as guidance for me, and I hope it can also be useful to you.
On the Use of Power
What is power? Goddess traditions define it as the ability to creatively define what is reality, and the act according to that definition. To imagine what is to be, and then make it so. To have a good idea, and to inspire others to support and follow it. To be able to influence the world, yourself and others. How do you define power?
One archetype of a woman who has come fully into her power and leadership is that of the Queen or Empress. It is said that women go through three basic phases of life, the maiden, mother and crone, and each is an aspect of Divine feminine Goddess energy. The crone phase can be divided further into the Queen (a time after the family is raised when the woman is still strong and active in the world, approximately between the ages of 45-65) and the Crone (a time when traditionally the energy become even more inward and refined, and she is seen as a true wise woman (around 60-90 years old).
Those of us in the Queen phase of life are blessed to potentially have the time, energy, freedom and acquired skills and wisdom of many years, and the vigor to be working and creating actively in the world. We may find ourselves as the matriarch of a large family, with everyone looking to us for guidance, or in leadership roles at work, or in politics, or teaching. Yet since our power and energy can be threatening to the established sex role limitations of Western civilization, we may not feel supported in unfolding all of the beauty and leadership that we are capable of.
1. Remember always, in every moment that you are using power, that all power comes from beyond the small ego self, and is a blessing given by Source, (or your own Higher Self, or the Goddess, or however you like to think of it). When you are given money, leadership, responsibility, possessions, physical strength, influence over others in any way, and artistic or other talents, all of these are gifts that you are allowing to come through you. The small ego self will want to take credit for all the wonderful glory and beauty that can come through the vessel of the individuated mind and body. If you can remember that you are channeling from a deeper Source, and consciously align with that Source, what happens through you will be far greater than anything you could think up with your limited mind.
2. Believe in yourself. Believe in your own goodness, no matter what others think. Never abandon yourself to thought of unworthiness.
Doubting your actions may be appropriate at time, so that you can learn to act in better ways. This can be done without doubting your deep goodness. Your face is one face of the Goddess.
3. Always tell the truth to yourself. Truth gives you power, and lies drain power. If you feel an inner weakness, a kind of slippery feeling of not being fully aligned in your gut and heart, it is best not to act until you can regain your sense of alignment with your own integrity. There will be many challenges and temptations to act in ways that do not fully feel right to you. The more power you have, the more important it is not to act out of integrity. It is as if you are holding a high powered water hose, rushing with fast moving water. One small movement in a wrong direction can create many destructive consequences. It is your responsibility while handling this volume of energy flow to direct it in accordance with truth and wisdom, not with your own ego satisfaction, or that of others.
4. Always tell the truth to others. You can present what is true in a way that is appropriate and kind, and is on the level of the ones you are speaking to so that it can be received. Truth must be combined with wisdom if it is to be effective and not harsh.
5. Take care of yourself. This includes your body, mind, emotions and spirit. You may be tempted to become so absorbed in the activities and needs of the world and those around you, that you forget about yourself. You may neglect the simple basic needs of enough rest, exercise, good food and water, and emotional support. Think of the time you spend caring for yourself as time spent so that you can show up for your activities and others at your best. Think of yourself as a sacred temple, containing and reflecting the Source. What created you knew well what it was doing. You are perfect just as you are, so honor it.
6. Honor others as part of yourself, and part of the Source. Each being is as capable of power and magnificence as any other, in their own way. Each being is a seed of the Source of all things, sleeping and waiting for its time to sprout and flower. If you have reached and manifested your own power, you are in the stage of flowering and fruiting. Is this phase any more important than any of the others?
It is more showy and glorious, perhaps. But it is not any more sacred or important. You began as a seed, and in some ways, you still are and always will be. If others have not found the way to feel their own power, beauty and wholeness, assist them in doing so, and do not judge them.
7. The purpose of power is to share it. There is no point at all in gathering power, money or fame to just keep it all to yourself and revel in your own glory. All that happens then is you become the shining star leading everyone else behind you like children. At worse you become a tyrant. At best you become a benevolent dictator or all nurturing mother, and all look to you to meet their needs. This leads to isolation, heavy responsibility, attacks and criticism, jealousy and rivalry. Basically, it is no fun for you, or anyone else!
If you have had the needed support, opportunities, training, money, status and abilities to attain any significant power, this means you are being given the chance to help others to have the same.
The great purpose of the universe is for each of its uncountable manifested beings to find and express its own unique song of life in fullness. The One wants to sing through us all, and sing many many songs, and tell many many stories, infinitely. Those of us who are blessed to be finding our own song, our own truth, our own personal vibration and way of expressing, can best use that to rejoice and to serve others.
8. How to share power?
Step down from the throne. It is cold and lonely there. Build a circle of others to do with you the same tasks you have been doing alone.
Find peers to get support for yourself. You deserve to be surrounded by peers; by people who you can respect, love and trust, and depend on when you need help. People who are equally skilled and powerful who you can co-create with, and experience the joy of sharing. No one can lead by themselves and do a really excellent job, simply because we have only one set of eyes and ears, one mind and one limited body. The best leadership comes from well functioning groups that offer a variety of perspectives.
Does it seem you have no peers? This is an illusion.
Look more carefully. Your own sense of self-importance has caused you to feel that you cannot trust anyone to work with you. Look into your own fears and need to be the center of attention, and let go of these. Past experiences of having no support when you needed it, and being disappointed and abandoned have created this illusion as a coping mechanism. Heal and release those past events so that you can get back into the flow of deep and satisfying connection with others. Find your own humility. Admitting that you need help will open the hearts of others to you. If no one around you has the same skills, train them.
If you find yourself isolated and bearing huge responsibility, look around for one person you can trust. This person will be able to look you steadily in the eye, and will act in a consistently kind, generous and peaceful way. They may or may not be at all interested in power, money or self-glory. Allow yourself to open to at least one person as a friend. Then, ask your friend whom they trust, to find others you can trust. Watch how others treat this person. The others who treat your trusted friend with respect can also be trusted. Build around yourself a circle of advisors, who can help you make decisions. Find community somehow.
Especially look for other women to trust and be close to.
This is important in a world where people holding power are mostly men. You may not see a lot of women who appear to be powerful, and this is because of our cultural training to be passive. Find some women that have promise and help them flower.
9. Teach others to help empower them.
Always be training others to replace you. What will happen if you, who are now in charge of the situation, suddenly become unavailable? But what if you seem to be the only one to be trusted to do things well? What if others make terrible messes out of the plans, and bicker endlessly with each other, and generally do not act in skillful ways? This is to be expected and can be used as opportunities for teaching. A child does not immediately master a skill, but must be given chances to practice and make mistakes. With patience and skill, you can guide those you are training in learning, by giving them some power but not more than they are ready for. Have times for feedback after they practice, and let them critique themselves first, before you give them suggestions for improvement.
Always praise what they did well before you address things that need to change.
10. Return all your fruits to the Source
Offer the results of your actions back to the Source that you are channeling. Let go of what you thought should happen and accept what is happening. Sometimes you will be surprised or disappointed in the results. Have faith that whatever needs to happen has happened or will happen. Examine your actions for any ways they could be improved, but there is no need to beat yourself for mistakes. Sometimes apparent mistakes are the best possible things that could happen, but you only find that out many years later.
The great purpose of the universe is behind you, supporting you, wanting you to sing your song well, in full beauty and power. Just do your best, and that is enough.
Thanks to all my companion Goddesses and Queens!
Blessings to you, and thanks for being your own unique powerful self.
Amara Karuna
Amara has been studying alternative healing since 1978, having studied Swedish, Esalen and deep bodywork, Chinese healing, herbology, and Macrobiotics. She was trained in psychic reading, healing and meditation for two years at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, and has taught numerous classes in the same since then. She created, edited and published Heartsong Review, a resource guide for New Age spiritual music, for nine years.
Amara taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, a method of peer counseling, for over five years, and has been studying and practicing it since 1983. She developed her own approach to peer counseling, called Wholistic Peer Support, integrating many ideas from RC with spiritual meditation practices, psychic healing and body centered techniques. She began studying Tantra and Sacred Spot work, a method of sexual healing, on Maui in 2003. She has been teaching Sacred Spot work for men and women, and leading one night Tantra Pujas, on the Big Island and Maui.
She is a minister, Sheikha (teacher) and initiator on the Sufi path, and has been studying that path, which encourages honoring of all religions, since 1983. She served as Secretary, and then Chairperson, on the Core of the International Council for the Dances of Universal Peace. She has created and staffed many weekend Dance workshops. She also has led and participated in many Goddess song circles, camps and Neo-pagan rituals since 1980, being attracted to the honoring of Nature, women and the natural cycles, and continues to offer these at La'akea.
She has been an graphic artist and scrimshander since 1980, and has illustrated several books and magazines. She currently is producing reproductions of her art as banners and prayer flags, which can be seen at www.karunaarts.com. Recently she has become passionate about creating and recording music, and has published several CD's of original music.