The terms “life’s purpose” and “heart’s desire” are loaded ones to many people: most think of a singular calling and an overriding passion, the stuff of dreams, and to the pragmatists, pipedreams. For some, life seems not worth living without the hope of fulfilment through a career or an ultimately loving relationship. Some of literature’s most famous novels are centered on these themes, and society (at least Western Society) has bought into “the pursuit of happiness” as the most important activity beyond safety and security. We have turned happiness into a goal rather than an attitude, and we have further turned our reason for being here and how we want to go through life into far off goals, rather than a practice for daily living. It is the aim of this article to suggest more useful definitions for life’s purpose and heart’s desire and to offer practical methods of realizing them to improve your quality of living.
The heart’s desire can be thought of as something we have an overpowering desire to have in our lives; perhaps what we want to be or who we want to be with. But this is our mind’s interpretation of our heart’s desire. We may feel a deep yearning for something and look for some object or situation to satisfy it. Or perhaps we see some object or situation in the world and feel a yearning deep in our being and believe this is our heart’s desire.
However, research by Institute of HeartMath suggests that the heart has a far deeper wisdom than to just lead us to believe that something outside of us will give us true and lasting happiness. If this is so, then what the heart may be responding to in these experiences may be our willingness to see our own wholeness reflected in a desired person or thing. Doc Childre, the founder of HeartMath, developed a method of enhancing physical and emotional health by focusing attention on the heart and deliberately generating feelings of appreciation and caring. The success of this method suggests that the more appropriate search is an inward, “heartward” one.
Another approach is at the level of meaning: when we desire something, the trick is to look at why; what will we gain, from having that thing? And we shouldn’t stop there; once we have realized that deeper need, we can enquire further as to what its realization will bring us. We can keep “drilling down” until we arrive at the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter is what I am calling our true heart’s desire.
This process was most recently articulated within the discipline of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) by Connirae Andreas and is currently taught under the name Core Transformation™. She found that guiding someone through this very process inevitably leads to a profound and unconditional experience of one of the following states: peace or tranquillity, love, joy or bliss, oneness, “okayness” (or “all is well”) or simply “being”. The common quality to these “core” states is that none of them are dependent on any circumstance or condition. The term “core transformation” refers to how this process is like the proverbial peeling back layers of an onion of desires and always finding at least one of these exalted states at the “core” of the person.
Alternatively, Dr. Frank Kinslow, creator of a method called Quantum Entrainment, teaches that these experiences are approximations of the Infinite Self reflected in the mind of the experiencer, accessible to anyone by simply becoming acutely aware. I believe what Drs Andreas and Kinslow are pointing to is none other than the heart’s desire. I have come to call these states “facets of the Self” within all of us, and I believe we all have the potential to experience at least one of these states naturally, whenever we are fully present in the “here and now”, conscious of our body with our heart at the center and the immediate environment.
Keeping this idea in mind, let’s move on to the life’s purpose. If the heart’s desire is that which we truly, deeply desire to experience beyond all else, then the life’s purpose should be thought of as as what we are here to do and how we are meant to go about doing it. Again, I think it’s easy to get a false sense of what this really means. On a personal level, there may be one or more things in life we want to do that could be described as a career, function or role, like a butcher, baker or candlestick maker. Some find their most important role identity to be that of “healer“, “teacher”, mother”, “father”, “wife”, “husband” or caregiver. But let’s refine this concept in a way that makes it universal to us all. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says that our life’s purpose is to be in alignment with life as it presents itself in the moment. I’d like to borrow that idea and suggest that for our definition, the life’s purpose should be 50% what we are here to experience (i.e. heart’s desire) and 50% what we are here to be and do. We’re going to operate on the assumption that there is no better thing to experience than our true heart’s desire; our Infinite Self within. So that leaves the other 50%: what we do and how we go about doing it. I’m going to suggest that being in alignment with “Life” as it shows up –and let’s take one more leap and call this “the Infinite Self in disguise”—is a large percentage of what we are here to be and do.
To be fair, I want to leave room for things like calling, career and role, but what that may be for each of us is potentially unique and best left to intuition, inspiration, synchronicity and serendipity, all which I have found all become enhanced when we are fully present and in alignment. You may already know or think you know what you are here to do, and this article isn’t intended to challenge your convictions. Rather, it is intended help you become integrous with the life within which your life’s course is unfolding. Remember, Mother Teresa, a wise and loving woman who overflowed with life’s purpose, said “We cannot do great things; we can only do small things with great love.” We figure if you come out of this breakout with a deeper sense of your heart’s desire and a more finely tuned inner compass to keep you in agreement with life as it shows up, the sheer momentum should help you with the rest.
How can energy psychology methods like Be Set Free Fast™ help?
BSFF is an elegant method of employing the subconscious to free ourselves of emotional baggage and self-limiting beliefs. By programming the subconscious to resolve withheld disturbing emotions and related beliefs at the intentional use of a pre-designated cue, BSFF can be applied in such a way that it removes the inner obstacles to being deeply aware of the present moment and experiencing your heart’s desire, acting in alignment with your life in the moment and regaining and maintaining this inner state of affairs. Remember, we are not trying to install anything here; we are merely dissolving the “stuff” standing between you and the two most vital aspects of life: your Self as God created you and whatever is before you. How many automatic thoughts are clouding you from being fully present in the moment? Thoughts about the past and future, self-criticisms, reactions against the behaviour or appearance of others, prejudices, resentments, guilt, fears, etc. We are so used to them that they are virtually unnoticeable as choices we have made until the mind quiets. But what will we notice in their absence? Peace and quiet bliss; joy, oneness, pure and profound being. Sound familiar?
BSFF can also help us to meet life in a friendly way. We all have our preferences, but our place of power and greatest opportunity lies in the here and now. Paradoxically, our greatest empowerment lies in surrender to full presence and non-resistance to what is.
If you’d like experiment to see whether there is a way to apply these concepts to improve your quality of living, make a list of what tends to distract you from being present. Examples could be re-hashing past interactions, anticipating future problems or promises, regrets, resentments, dreams, or worries. Write down everything that comes to mind. If you like, you could rate how much of a distraction each is in your life on a scale of zero (non-existent)-to-ten (totally distracting). You could then treat them individually or in a bundle. Afterward, you could then treat “All problems which prevent or limit me in any way from being fully present in the here and now.” You’ll want to keep your failsafe list and full protocol handy.
Next, make a list of what keeps you from fully being and acting in alignment with life as it presents itself in the moment. What do you avoid, resist, “grudgingly tolerate” or reject when it shows up in your space? Again, you’ll want to keep failsafe list and the full protocol by your side.
Now make a list of any inner conflicts you feel or perceive when you contemplate continuously experiencing your heart’s desire and being in alignment with whatever life brings you. Once you have worked through the list, similarly treat “any and all problems preventing or limiting…” Lastly, affirm being fully, deeply present in the moment and in harmony with the HERE and NOW and use your cue. Once you have made it all the way through these treatments (and done the closing sequence), take an inner inventory: how does your body feel? How does your energy feel? Are there any “felt senses” you are aware of that you weren’t before you started?
Just for your information, there are two subtle energy centers you may want to be aware of which are associated with the heart’s desire and life’s purpose. The first should be no surprise: the heart chakra, located in the center of the chest. There is also is another, “transpersonal” heart chakra between the heart chakra and the collar bone (where the thymus gland is located) associated with impersonal, unconditional love; it is called the spiritual heart chakra, and it is the home of the true heart’s desire we’ve discussed here.
Equally, the life’s purpose as articulated here is associated with both the crown chakra and a transpersonal chakra called the “soul star” which is located about 10-20cm above the crown of the head. Many people report increased and pleasant sensations in the transpersonal heart and soul star areas after working with these concepts. You may or may not notice this, but you should at least feel an enhanced sense of peace, well-being and inner freedom.
As serendipity would have it, my situation while writing this article presented an ideal example. I was at the airport awaiting my flight, and while I was pondering how to put flesh and bones on the concept of being in alignment with what shows up, an announcement came across the loudspeaker that our flight, already delayed by a ½ hour, would not only be further delayed, but would be departing from another gate. I heard the groans and complaints around me, and was pleased to note I was still aware of peace and not in conflict with the moment. The other thing I noticed was that I could see the acting out of my fellow passengers for what it was: a drama that provided distraction from simple presence in the here and now. I remember thinking to myself “Can it really be that simple?” About 45 minutes later, there was another announcement (it was already clear that our flight wouldn’t make its previously given departure time): now, the flight was delayed another ½ hour and would be leaving from a gate on the other side of the concourse: twice the distance from our previously re-located gate call than our original departure gate. There were howls and angry outbursts, but also frustrated laughter. This time, I noticed a sense of fatigue, and when I investigated inwardly, I found a story of wanting to be left alone to recover from a fairly stressful weekend. I turned my attention back to becoming acutely present, and then in alignment with the situation. The much of the fatigue and most of the frustration dissolved almost instantly, and I was feeling a sense of well being and gratitude for this lesson.
So, once you have established inner peace in the moment, and are at peace with whatever is happening in the moment, the task is to be able to notice whenever your awareness gets swept away into a storyline, and you have identified yourself as one of its actors instead of an observer. You can tell this has happened when you feel an emotional reaction to what is going on, and when you are telling yourself a story about what it all means, tying it to past experiences, future projections and a broader theme (or more accurately your interpretation of same); anticipating a future with or without the situation and how good or bad that will be. Before long you are elsewhere; in your remote mind and not your bodymind, elsewhere in imaginary time, location or both, and the present moment –the only place of power and peace—is lost to you.
The good news is that what has been done in a moment can equally be undone in the moment. Once you have regained enough present of mind to realize that you are no longer present, you can simply return to one of the techniques you’ve learned in order to become present. Then, re-visit and treat the same trigger situations, people, places or things which pulled you off-course, and you can thank the Universe for providing just the right situation to show you your vulnerabilities so you can address them right then and there. You can also further affirm your intention to be remain present in the moment regarding every encounter you are about to have in the next hour, or whenever you think of it (when the minute hand hits 12 and/or 6, when you get up from your chair, etc). Use your cue whenever you notice yourself not feeling peace, love, joy, oneness, etc. And use your cue whenever some experience shows up to which you react with any level of aversion.
Watch how life unfolds as you practice this little discipline day by day. I won’t take long to feel transformation taking place and for those who know you to note the difference.
Alfred Heath, MA, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ordained minister with 20 years’ experience, has a phone-based, part-time practice in the UK. Visit his website at www.gratefulmystic.webs.com.