Smiling is a great stress buster and it can also change the environment around you. I have noticed the power of a smile when visiting workplaces for consulting or training projects. When the team is in their “serious mode”, it is obvious through their facial expressions (or lack of expression) and interactions with one another. Someone smiling in the room not only breaks the tension, but creates a ripple effect of smiles; it lightens the mood! Practice this at work; change your environment through your presence. Begin with smiling, and see what happens.
Have you ever heard that smiling on the phone changes the mood of the conversation? That the person on the other end can actually "hear" your smile? It's true! Have you ever just known that the person on the other end of the phone was smiling ear to ear? You could not see them, but you could sense the smile in their tone, the speed and pitch of their voice, and their level of sincerity. Smile more!
Another great strategy to help during long phone discussions is to stand up while you are having the conversation. This actually works very well if you are having a difficult conversation on the phone.
Many years ago, one of my mentors introduced me to the concept of standing up while talking on the phone. He said that this keeps you more focused, more energetic and positively impacts the conversation. As well, conversations tend to be shorter.
Trying this advice, I found that what he said was true. Recently I saw this posted on Facebook:
“A USC study found that your brain's information processing speed increases five to 20 per cent when you're standing. Think you may look a little goofy standing around your office? You'd be in good company. Thomas Jefferson, Ernest Hemingway and Winston Churchill all stood while working.” ~ David Cottrell.
This quote generated seventeen different comments and discussions. People commented that standing keeps them focused and energized, more present in the conversation, allows time to exercise (stretch and lift hand weights), and increases creativity.
One strategy that is not so easy to do all the time, but is so important is simply being present. When you are present, you make fewer mistakes and are more observant. One of my most recent and noticeable outcomes of rushing because I was not present was showing up to an event with one blue shoe and one brown shoe on. Thankfully for me, no one seemed to notice (or they were too polite to say anything), but it became a great reminder of how quickly we can become not present. Being present also helps you to be more authentic.
Choosing your words carefully is another valuable strategy. Think about your words, and think about how they describe your life. For example, if you were to say, “I had such a rotten day!” you could reframe that with something like, “You know, I had a day that tested my patience.” Or “I had a day where I got to practice integrity.” Just that wording change creates a different experience, a different mindset and a different feeling.
Setting realistic goals is also important, as is writing them down. This will ensure that you have more success achieving them. If they are simply in your head, it is too easy to get distracted and forget about them. At the end of the day, take about five or 10 minutes to do a quick review. These are the guiding questions for this self- reflection time:
• What went well in the course of the day?
• What was a challenge or what was difficult?
• What did I learn?
• What will I do differently tomorrow?
Then, set your red hot items /your “now” pile/your urgent items for tomorrow so that you arrive at work knowing what your priority items are or what your starting point will be.
When you are leaving the office for the day, clean your desk. Watch your productivity and energy soar when you open your office door to find a neat, tidy and orderly desk and office awaiting you. You will begin your day feeling renewed instead of feeling drained.
There are also some strategies that you can implement to bust stress in your life and boost resilience. This includes resolving issues, disagreements, or conflicts in a timely way. When communication challenges happen, conflict could surface or a relationship strain of some sort could arise, address it early, in a timely manner. Work it through in a supportive and respectful way. Don’t let issues build; sweeping issues under the carpet just makes for a very, very bumpy rug and a lot of dirt to clean up.
From my experience mediating hundreds of conflicts and disputes, time does not lessen the conflict or minimize the emotions. In fact, avoiding the issue and having more time pass does the opposite. It gives people more opportunity to build their case and find alliances. Emotions escalate and more people get involved, making it much more difficult to resolve.
Start your conversation on the right foot. Keep it positive by standing up and smiling!
Charmaine Hammond is a transformational international speaker, corporate trainer, "Bounce Forward" expert and author of On Toby's Terms (which has been signed to become a major motion picture).