Communication Strategies: The Art of the Reasonable Request!

Using positive communication strategies will generate more productive results than negative communication habits. Often we use negative techniques even though they rarely produce a desired outcome because we don't know a better way. When we use negative tactics that bully, force, hurt, manipulate or demean someone those choices create negative consequences. Those consequences tend to frustrate and disappoint us more than anyone.

The answer is to recognize those parts of our communication style that don't work. Start to replace poor communication choices with effective communication strategies and instantly see positive results. It's beneficial to get more than one new skill. In fact if you have ten effective communication tools to rely on, the odds of falling back into negative, destructive habits decrease exponentially.

Here are a few tips. First, create your message with the goal in mind. Frustrated because your spouse or kids leave their dirty clothes on the floor?

Here's a poor message choice: “You are such a slob! Stop leaving your clothes all over! Our house looks like a pigsty!”

Instead, ask for what you want. Skip the name calling, put downs, judgments, and curb your frustration. Put the solution in your message. “Please put your dirty clothes in the hamper by the door when you go to take your shower. I appreciate your help so much.”

The image of 'what to do' is left in the mind of your audience. That image will be recalled along with your words the next time it's time to take a shower. Make your reasonable requests tactfully.

On average a person must hear, and act on a new directive ten times before it becomes a habit. Positive phrases reduce any resistance to change.

Let's say you're going to bake a chocolate cake. You mix together all the ingredients, pour the batter into a cake pan and place it in the oven. Forty minutes later a picture perfect cake comes out of the oven. No one would be shocked that a meatloaf didn't emerge from the oven. The ingredients for a cake, not a meatloaf were used.

This makes sense to us yet everyday good people contaminate their messages by mixing together the equivalent of dirt, nails, cow manure, bug spray, with maybe a tablespoon of sugar and wonder why their messages produce slop instead of the results they really want in their life. Go figure.

We all have emotional baggage, faults and idiosyncrasies. Our early caregivers probably used a few ineffective communication skills. We may model those ineffective strategies and continue to use them until we decide we're open to a better way.

Positive communication techniques can replace, outdated and ineffective habits. It's easy and rewarding. You'll enjoy instant positive feedback in the form of getting your needs met, almost effortlessly. As you use your new communication strategies they'll quickly become habits and you'll never let them go! Get happy. Give yourself the gift of ten effective communication skills and transform your life.