Today, more than ever, a spirit of hopelessness presses down particularly on people who don’t like themselves or feel like they can’t do anything right. Many lack a feeling of significance which is crucial to emotional, spiritual, physical and relational stability. Countless people try to meet these needs through escapism into the cyber world.
It is not unusual to be more proud of the number of friends you have on Facebook rather than the quality of friends. Because we are made in God’s likeness connecting with other real people is our most fundamental need.
Jesus said a relationship with him is the solution because it brings rest to our souls (Matthew 11:28-29). Within each person lies a huge God-shaped hole that can be filled only by Jesus. Saint Augustine wrote, "You have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you."
French philosopher of social science, Dr. Rene Girard, developed the idea of mimetic desires. According to Dr. Girard, the mimetic desire is motivated by an inner sense that “something” is missing. His theory is that our desires never come purely from ourselves; rather, they are inspired by the desires of another. The mimetic desire describes our ravenous hunger for wholeness. It is so strong that people willingly stuff themselves with fragmented identities. Deep inside they feel “something” is missing. The culture and media machine have done a superb job of getting us all to believe “something” is missing and only “more” of what they offer will satisfy. Unconsciously we devour the bait making us a voracious consumer of false gods and images.
God created each one of us for an intimate relationship with him first, and then with others—parents, spouses, children, friends and church family. Without bonding to God first, and then others, we cannot be our real selves. God gave us the ability and freedom to direct our own lives. Escapism, perfectionism, fantasy relationships, searching for our identity, loneliness, the desire for intimacy—each of these can be reversed by investing and engaging in healthy, vital relationships that ultimately shape us all into strong, functional people.
Close your eyes and imagine crawling into Jesus’s lap and calling him “Daddy.” Relax and talk to him. He already knows you better than anyone else. You matter to him.
He is intimately interested in everything about you. You can admit your most confidential thoughts and feelings to him. He accepts you for who you are. Feel safe because you are in the hand of an all-powerful God.
Now you have the prescription for wholeness—for filling the soul-hole.
[This material, although reworked, is an excerpt from the book Torn Between Two Masters (Tate Publishing)]
Kimberly received her MA in specialized ministry from Western Seminary, Portland, Oregon. She is a board certified biblical counselor, personal life coach, speaker, and founder of Olive Branch Outreach—a ministry dedicated to bringing hope and restoration to those struggling with eating disorders and negative body image. Kimberly volunteers in prison ministry and youth education outreach. She is the author of four books, a contributor to five books and has penned over three dozen articles.