From my experience as an author, speaker and consultant, it seems that striving for success creates a lot of unnecessary drama. Instead of enjoying the journey to reinvention, the image that comes to mind for me is rowing with all of your might to get to an island that never appears. When do I get there? How do I get there faster? What if someone else gets there first? I call this phenomenon, “Salvation on the Island.” We give up our present moment worrying and obsessing about a future that may or may not occur. In essence we lose the pleasure of the journey to success.
If there is drama in the boat, getting to the island there will be drama on the island. Whatever you think will complete you is just an illusion. Have you ever noticed that even when you accomplish a goal, it seems that there is always more that you want and more to do? What if you could know for certain that you are complete and whole right from where you are, and the journey can be as exciting and rewarding as reaching the goal?
With that in mind, here are five skills that will make your reinvention journey one worth savoring.
1. Define success
2. Seek and experience joy
3. Take care of yourself
4. Master your beliefs
5. Own your choices
Define Success
One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, has some great insights about success. He says, “Don’t let a mad world tell you success is anything other than a successful present moment.” One of his most profound teachings is the concept that you cannot become successful, you can only “be” successful. What if you take the success question off the table and you declare that you are already successful? When you are free to “be” you start living in the flow and can really experience success versus strive for it.
Seek and Experience Joy in Life
No matter what your accomplishments or achievements, you can’t experience success if you are unhappy. For two years I have researched happiness and success and I ask the question “what is heaven on earth?” It is surprising that the number one answer (over 70% of all people surveyed) say time with family and friends is heaven on earth. Vacations is a close second and third on the list with over 50 percent say reading a good book or eating a good meal. The fact is, you can create a little heaven on earth every single day.
Take Care of Yourself
If you aren’t healthy and happy you can’t contribute at work or at home.
When you travel by air, the airline attendants always tell you “In case of emergency put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.” It seems counterproductive in our fast paced world, but taking regular breaks including taking a lunch away from your desk promotes productivity. According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their business book, The Power of Full Engagement, the body requires rest and recovery every 90 minutes. If you are skipping regular breaks you are not doing anyone any favors. In addition, workaholism is an addictive habit that gets you hooked on adrenaline overload which contributes to a reduced immune system and illness. It is hard to focus on reinvention when you are using your resources to fight off sickness and unhappiness.
Master Your Beliefs
The reason you may be working without breaks is because you are listening to the lies you tell yourself. You have habitually allowed thoughts like, “I don’t have time to take a break, “or “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done” While there might be a kernel of truth (as there is in every victim story) the reality is, if you died tomorrow the world would go on.
The reality is you need to learn how to say “no” and you might need to delegate. One thing is for certain, if you master your beliefs you can catch yourself when you get sucked into the tribal mentality of “there’s no time” or “ no one will help me.”
Own Your Choices
The best way to “be” successful is to become completely responsible for your choices. This means no complaining, no blaming, no manipulation and no explaining. This means you must be willing to give up a few things. You must be willing to give up the need for others to always agree or understand. You must be willing to quit explaining why you didn’t step up or why something isn’t working. You must also be willing to stop saying and doing things just to get approval.
When you become the master of these five skills you will have plugged the leak, stopped the drama and be well on your way to reinventing yourself. You will be in the flow and loving your successful life.
Marlene Chism is the author of Success is a Given and Stop Workplace Drama. For more information, visit Stop Workplace Drama to learn the eight principles help leaders gain clarity and reduce workplace drama.