I was raised in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood and attended Hebrew school, became a Bat Mitzvah and continued on to complete Confirmation. I was very active in my Temple community as a member of the youth program and even became a Para-professional. Which meant I assisted the Special Education Hebrew teacher during the school year.
My family attended services most Friday nights and observed the High Holy Day traditions. Even with all this activity in my Temple and with my Jewish community I never had a strong understanding of God and the role God should play in my life. I didn’t even have a weak understanding of God!
I don’t know if I have blocked it all out, but I can’t recall ever experiencing a time in my youth when I felt a connection with God.
Fast forward through my years of young adulthood, lots of mistakes, bad decisions and unhealthy relationships, I still didn’t consider any role that God might play in my life. It just never came up for me.
Over the past few years as I have become more connected to my Self and have, for the first time ever, built a strong and healthy relationship with ME, I have begun to wonder about God.
I think what kept me from embracing God as a child was that it was a religious concept. What I now know to be true is that religion doesn’t have to play a role in one’s relationship with God. It is a purely Spiritual experience. And THAT is something I can embrace!
I have always been a very independent person. My favorite quote since the moment I heard it was, “If it is to be, it’s up to me!” I took pride in my independence and the absence of my need (and desire) to ask to for help.
What I know now is that was my way of staying separate, alone and safe. As long as I had myself to depend on I would never have to face the pain of being disappointed, rejected or abandoned. I knew there was one person I could always depend on, and that was me.
Well, as I grew more aware and took responsibility for the role I played in my life, I began to see that doing things on my own didn’t always serve me, or the Highest good of all. My selfishness didn’t come from a place of self-care, it came from a place of self-preservation and the energy of that is lack and not enoughness.
When you operate from that low-level energy all you are able to attract is more of the same and that was exactly my experience.
As my relationship with my Self healed and grew stronger, my sense of spirituality and one-ness with the Universe expanded. I knew (for the first time in my life) that I was not alone. I knew that not only was I created from a source of greatness and omnipotence, I also knew that as a piece of that greatness, I was given the gift to create as well. Not only was I a part of God, God was a part of me!
So here’s the kicker. Just because I have this new understanding that I am a creator and powerful beyond measure, doesn’t mean I get to go back and do it on my own. Which is exactly what I attempted to do!
It doesn’t work that way! A more accurate way of describing who we are is “co-creators”. When we partner with God our possibilities are endless! As a matter of fact, we cannot do it on our own!
Well, you can, but boy it’s hard! It’s a tedious, laborious struggle that often times leads to giving up. That might be OK when the little things are on the line, but when we are talking about your dreams, it’s a whole other ball game.
I think I resisted God for so long because I wasn’t clear about who God was for me. And the relationships I saw for other people with God didn’t resonate. Then I realized it was up to me to create the relationship with God that worked best for ME. I co-created my relationship with God and now I have a partner for life!
Your Assignment
It’s time to re-asses your relationship with God.
“Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book,
dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” ~ Walt Whitman
Get out your journal and start questioning your relationship with God. Keep in mind that you are doing this in service of creating a working relationship that FEELS good. That is free of fear, expectation and old limiting beliefs. If it doesn’t feel sacred, liberating and safe, ask why?
Here are some other questions you might consider:
I would even challenge you to bring God in on this conversation. Ask what kind of relationship God would like to co-create with YOU. This is a deeply meaningful experience and your heart will expand tremendously as a result of it.
I would love to hear what comes up for you in this conversation.Please share your experience below.
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Aimee Yawnick has been mentoring women to make personal growth and development a priority for over 15 years. First, in the Health and Fitness Industry, now as a Personal Life Coach. With proven tools and systems Aimee helps her clients move swiftly and smoothly from a life of just ging through the motions and merely existing to being an active participant and living life to the fullest!
If you are a highly motivated and results-oriented woman who understands the value of developing your SELF, and you are ready to accelerate your personal growth in order to play a BIGGER GAME in your personal and professional life, contact Aimee today.