Having no friends whatsoever can be tough. But things don’t have to be this way. You can meet new people and make friends no matter who you are and how you are.
The best thing about a social life is that it can be build from scratch. You could have absolutely no friends at this point and end up having lots of friends and a rich social life in a few months from now. All you need to do is implement a good social strategy.
Making friends when you have none is a lot like making friends when you have some. However, there are steps you’ll need to pay special attention to in the first case. Considering this, I’m going to present you a powerful strategy to use when you have absolutely no friends.
1. Start by going out more. If your friendship level is at zero at this point, chances are that you’re the kind of person who spends a lot of time alone, indoors. This creates a negative loop where you tend to isolate yourself even more and it becomes gradually harder to be sociable and outgoing.
For this reason, you want to start by simply spending more time outdoors, in places with lots of people. Go to parks, malls, clubs, those kinds of places. Be increasingly more present in social situations, around other people, even if you’re not interacting with them.
2. Talk with people more. The next thing you want to do is put yourself in an increasingly more social mood. And you do this by using any opportunity you have during each day to make a bit of small talk with people.
For example, whenever you’re in a store to buy something, don’t just ask for what you want to buy, pay it and leave. Make a small comment about the weather; ask a minute question or something like that. Often, the other person will be highly responsive and sociable.
3. Get involved in social activities. One of the best ways to meet new people is to participate in activities that are social in nature and permit you to meet others. Anything from a photography class to a dance lesson, from a charity event to a ping-pong workshop goes.
Find a couple such social activities that you believe you might enjoy at least to some degree. The Internet is typically a good method of doing so. Then take the necessary steps to attend these activities. Once you’re attending them, you’re presented with new opportunities to meet people and make friends.
4. Overcome your limiting beliefs. Going out and attending various social activities is not enough in itself. You may need to work on your conversation skills, and you will most certainly need to work on your limiting beliefs.
Your aim is to improve your self-image and get it into your head that it’s OK to engage new people, make conversation and be authentic. This step will require a shift in your thinking and you can only do this day by day, by consciously replacing your unrealistic thinking with a more realistic one.
As you change your beliefs and become more sociable, you’ll find it easier to meet new people and from all the people you’ll meet, you will connect with some at a deep level. Thus, you are making friends and enhancing your social life.
Eduard Ezeanu is a communication coach specializing in social success. If you enjoyed this article, also discover conversation topics and discover how to make small talk from two first-class articles on his People Skills Decoded blog.