Many of the issues that we are faced with in our daily lives are a result of self hatred. These include illness, mental health issues, addictions and compulsive behaviours and affect nearly all of us in some way or another.
As children, we learn that in order to get attention, we need to adapt ourselves to be able to please those that provide for our needs. We do this at home, at school and anywhere where we feel we want to fit in and be accepted.
The downside of this is that eventually, we have adapted so much that our inner light is no longer shining and we forget our true essence and the result is self hatred.
Our parents and care givers also play a role, as they are attempting to make us into normal and acceptable children, as their parents did with them, and theirs with them and so on back in time. They dampen our spirits and often do not see us as they try to mould us into good little children. They also project their needs and wants onto their children (unconsciously for the most part) and each time they do this, the child adapts again.
Self hatred is all consuming. It affects the way we think, feel, play and work. Most people suffering from self hatred find that they initially need to learn that they have the right to be here and to take up the space they need. This is often very challenging for someone who has spent their life so far blending into the picture rather than standing out in the crowd.
Another issue that needs to be addressed is that if we adapted so much as children, it is likely that we do not know how to express feelings of anger, rage, sadness, grief or fear. Part of adapting means that we learned to hide our feelings in order not to be a nuisance or upset the adults in our lives. Decision making and boundary setting are also areas that probably cause us problems if we had to fit in with others all our lives.
It is so important to learn to love yourself and really to appreciate that you are perfect exactly as you are. There will only ever be one you, and so it is imperative that you work out why you suffer from self hatred, and then go on to heal the parts of you that are out of balance with your inner self. This will mean learning to make decisions for yourself, stop seeking approval from others, speaking up when you need to be heard, and allowing yourself to grow and heal.
As we recover from self hatred, and learn to love ourselves, we can learn to love all the other people on the planet, and ultimately, we can find peace and happiness because we are at peace with ourselves.
Written by Caroline Nettle
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Caroline Nettle is passionate about healing, recovery, and assisting others to grow. Her website Spiritual Growth Tools is the culmination of many years of seeking answers about her own health and well-being, and studying the human condition. She writes articles, is a healer and gives talks about subjects relating to spiritual growth and personal development.
She is an avid reader and researcher and on her international travels, she came across many weird and wonderful ways to make the human experience more enjoyable. Some of them seemed a little comical, and some of them downright strange, but some of them had a profound effect on her health and well-being, and they inspired her to want to create Spiritual Growth Tools, so that she could share what she learned.
Spiritual Growth Tools is an online resources dedicated to spiritual growth and personal development. It aims to provide resources and information to assist others on their journey to inner peace, vitality, and a happier, healthier lifestyle!
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