I f you are going through a divorce or a romantic break-up you may be experiencing many emotions....from anger, fear, disappointment, hopelessness toward the future, sadness, to grief (this emotion sometimes is not recognized, but it can be real). In many cases divorce is not a devastating loss, on the contrary you may feel happy or relieved, but in most cases, all of a sudden finding oneself not being part of a couple hits us hard and sometimes we ask,
• How was I wrong?
• What mistake did I make?
• Could I have done something different?
• How did I not realize what was happening before?
To go through a divorce or romantic break-up, you close a chapter in your life, but it does not end your life. In front of you is a path that you can walk down with strength and hope.
If you feel any bitterness in your soul, let it go. It is not healthy to keep negative feelings inside. If you think you are doing harm to your former spouse, you are wrong. The person you are doing harm to is really yourself. Therefore, forgive and go on with your life.
In the system "The Eleven Principles of Transformation" in the third principle "Go Deeper into the Spiritual Dimension" I elaborate on the issue of forgiveness (besides gratitude and love). If we learn to forgive, we empower ourselves. We choose to be happy and transform any romantic loss into an extraordinary gain.
P.S. Part of this article was taken from my book "Transform your Loss. Your Guide to Strength and Hope"
Ligia Houben is a specialist in life transitions and transformation. Ligia has a passion for life and believes all of us are able to fulfill our purpose if we can only change our attitude and beliefs. Her work has been centered in the area of grief and loss, expanding into meaning and growth. Ligia has delivered her message from corporations to hospitals. She works with the bereaved, the person who needs to face a new stage in life, children of aging parents, or people searching for more meaning in their lives. Ligia has appeared in numerous radial and TV shows, including CNN Español, NPR, NBC, and Univisión.
Ligia obtained her B.A. from the University of Miami in Psychology and Religious Studies and a Masters Degree in Religious Studies and Gerontology from Florida International University. She also has a graduate certificate in Loss and Healing from St. Thomas University, a certificate in Thanatology and is a Fellow of the American Academy of Grief Counseling,and Fellow in Thanatology. She is also adjunct professor of Kaplan University, Florida International University, and Miami Dade College where she teaches courses on Ethics, Religion and Death and Dying.
Ligia is the author of the self-help book Transform your Loss. Your Guide to Strength and Hope/ This book contains "The Eleven Principles of Transformation™" which is a system that involves the emotional, spiritual, and cognitive aspects of the person as they face a transition or loss. Ligia created this system of transformation to help people transform their losses and change their lives.
Her new seminar "The Eleven Principles of Transformation" is on March 26-27 in Miami, Fl.