Over time, things can take a toll on the individual as well as the couple. We get consumed by our work, our children, and before we know it, we don't have much time for each other. We also get more and more comfortable with our spouse or partner, and can loose some of the spontaneity we once had during our courtship. In fact, if we are not careful, we can get so comfortable, and absorbed by everything else, that our partners can begin to feel unimportant.
Our partners don't even see it coming, the feeling is minuscule at first, as both of you get overtaken with the day to day activities, and settle into the comfort zone with each other. The days begin to come and go faster and faster, and bit by bit the two of you begin to drift ever so slightly apart. As the years come and go, the slight drifting has happened so slowly, that you never noticed how great the distance has become that separated you. At this point, you may start to actually feel as if neglected, and even though neither of you intended to neglect each other, the feelings have grown as gradual as the rift in the relationship. Neither of you noticed this coming because it was so gradual, so you weren't able to talk it out before this point. It just feels as if it was all of a sudden, and you are looking back at the years of no attention and pointing the finger of blame.
If you had made it a conscious effort to do something for our partner that was unselfish or thoughtful on a consistent basis, would the two of you feel as if there was an ocean dividing you? Very unlikely, as it had become a habit to recognize each other and celebrate each other. The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is to begin to get the thought that your partner knows you love them, so you don't need to say or do anything. This type of bad habit is like skipping a day at the gym. Every day you talk yourself into skipping the gym workout, the easier it is to skip another day, until you have not worked out for years, and you are wondering why your pants don't fit anymore.
We are all creatures of habit. If we are not careful of the habits we accept as the norm in our lives, we could alienate and dismiss the ones we love the most. By choosing to maintain some of the courting habits that were conducive to bringing you together, we foster a happy and rewarding relationship years down the road. We are showing our partner that we didn't just do things to get them, we actually meant what we did in the beginning, and that they are still that important to us even now. By making even small amounts of time in the busiest of lives, we are subconsciously telling our spouse or partner that no matter what happens, that they will always be the most important thing in your life. This is the message your partner will get from you. And by them doing the reciprocal, you will have that feeling as well. Neither of you may even notice those feelings, but I can guarantee that neither of you will feel neglected, or unappreciated. And that is why keeping romance alive even after many years together is as important as it was in the beginning years.
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