“Don’t worry that your children never listen you; worry that they are always watching you”- Robert Fulghum
It’s a significant question before every parent that whether they should need special skills and talents to grow their children in discipline and mold their good behavior patterns? With a little observation in and around our family or society, anyone would be able to find out parenting without a proper foundation definitely brings confusion and wrong ideas to a growing child.
Create a List of Expectations
The first and foremost step to successful parenting is in developing a clear expectation of what parents need. Having different opinion and expectation about children will ruin your children. So, it is important that before starting to think of how to discipline your children, you must agree on what you expect from them.
But before setting an expectation you must take into consider a number of things such as your financial background, age, interests, likes and dislikes of your children, scope etc. Based on this, create a list of expectations. As Burke says “create a list of expectations such as social, academic, religious, family oriented and hygiene which help parents to be very specific and concrete in teaching their children.” Above all it is important that what you charted out for your children must be communicated to them properly in time and there must be timely follow up and family discussions. Remember these meetings are not just to accuse your children but it is to support and guide them to your expectations.
Be a Positive Influence on your Children
Children always try to imitate their parents. Since they imitate and take you as a role model, it is very important to think how to be a positive influence on your children. It is you; none of others can do it better than you. So, think about it. You know the influence of TV and internet. This makes today’s children more pleasure seeking and a thirst for leisure. Be prepared and start your planning from the very early age itself. I just created a useful and practical guide for parents and let me share it here:
• Spend time with your children
• Involve in their daily activities
• Make a world of difference
• Let them feel comfort, security and warmth of your love
• Give rewards
• Praise them when they do good
• Avoid yelling, physical punishments, threats etc
• Accept apologies
• Use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in your speech
• Avoid alcohol, drugs, smoking etc.
Children always seek for acceptance. Thus, accommodate and listen your children when they talk. Demonstrate healthy living and show them the importance of exercise, entertainment, fun and taking up responsibility.
Cissy Pulikunnel is the director of The Centre for Family Preservation & Wellness, a mental health and counseling practice in Belleville offers counseling services and psychotherapy for family, group, children, couples, adolescents online and phone counseling services in Canada.